Crystal Cave
by LavenderGale
Summary: This is a story based on the myth of Nimue trapping Merlin a cave and stealing his powers. In this Arthur comes to Merlin's rescue, but Merlin soon discovers he isn't as safe as he thinks he is and another quest is born to save him from Nimues curse.
1. Follow me

" _Out of time, out of night._

_Out of pain, out of sight._

_In between, earth, sky and sea._

_We shall bide._

_Follow me, Follow me…"_

Merlin awoke with a cry, covering his ears instinctively with his hands. He punched his pillow in irritation. Three nights. Three bloody, forsaken, nights he'd been kept from sleep by this voice in his head. He only heard it at night and it was no dream. Would that it were a dream, at least then he could get some sleep.

At first he had thought it no more than his imagination, but ones imagination does not persist and badger until it drives someone stark raving Mad. He ran to the window and threw it open, even though he knew all too well no one would be there. He'd checked dozens of times before to no avail. Besides, Camelot was under curfew. What woman in her right mind would risk her life to woo him? Arthur, maybe, but not him. The idea was ridiculous.

He glared at the sleeping city for a minute then shouted at the top of his lungs. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

He was about to slam the window, when he heard a window open above from one of the castle towers. Then he heard Arthur's voice shouting, " MERLIN! SHUT UP! IT'S TWO IN THE BLASTED MORNING!"

Merlin made a frustrated face and slapped his forehead with the flat of his hand.

"SORRY! SORRY SIRE! IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!"

" JUST SHUT UP!"

SLAM!

Merlin threw himself back down on his bed exhaustedly, in the other room he heard Gaius's smothering laughter. He glared and turned over onto his side. Someday, something terrible was going to come through the window and kill him and THEN Gaius would be sorry for not coming when he shouted. True, he'd been doing a lot of that lately.

He sighed. Just perfect, he was supposed to help Arthur at the tournament tomorrow and now he wasn't going to know whether to polish his horse or groom his armor. He turned onto his side.

" Follow me, Follow me…"

Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn. Merlin covered his ears with the pillow, this had no effect what so ever. " Get out of my head…" he thought fiercely, " Get out of my head. Get out. Get out. Get out."

Nothing silenced the voice, finally Merlin got up in a huff and remained awake until morning.

"Merling? Merlin!"

Merlin came to in a strange, warm, humid darkness. His eyes couldn't open and there was a strange smell in his nose. He could hear Gaius's voice above him.

"Merlin! Wake up!"

At the same Moment hands lifted his head out of the humid, sticky substance it had been submerged in and which still clung cloyingly to his face.

"Gaius? What happened?"

Gaius released his collar with a glower. "You fell asleep in your porridge again. Honestly Merlin, this has got to stop! You're going to do yourself a damage."

"Maybe I should start eating toast?"

" That is not what I meant and you know it!" Gaius waved a finger at him, " Merlin, was it the voice again?"

Merlin nodded. " Gaius, it's driving me insane! If I don't get some sleep soon I'm going to collapse or if I don't Arthur's going to kill me! Neither option is pleasant. Do you know what it could be?"

Gaius sighed, sitting back down in his chair to think. " You say it's a woman's voice and you only hear it at night?"

"Yes, only when I'm just about to fall asleep. She always sings the same thing. " Follow me, Follow me.."

" Follow me?" Gaius looked at him concerned, " Now, that does worry me…Merlin you must NOT follow this voice. Do you understand?"

" I figured that one out by myself, thanks. I'm not that stupid."

"I'm serious, Merlin! It might not always be this easy. If this is some kind of enchantment, someone with very powerful magic is causing it. Someone who wants you."

"Who would want me?"

Gaius pursed his lips looking away, Merlin saw a flicker of fear cross his face. But when he spoke it was calm. " I don't know."

Merlin sighed, " What can I do about it? I can't keep on like this, I'll go crazy!"

Gaius took a vial off the shelf, " Use this, it's a sleeping draft."

" No! No thank you! Anything like that would dull my powers, I need my powers Gaius. All of them, always. I can't do that I'm sorry."

" That is your decision, I agree with it. But Merlin there is nothing else I can do to help you."

Merlin nodded forlornly, " I understand. Maybe whoever it is will just give it up after a while."

" We can hope. Now get going, you don't want to keep Arthur waiting."

Merlin went to the door then Gaius stopped him.

"Merlin…"

Merlin turned, and Gaius gave him a wincing look, " Try not to get the prince killed will you? Stay awake!"

" Of course." Said Merlin with a smile, " I mean, how bad can it be?"

The door to Arthur's chambers flew open then slammed shut with a reverberating bang that doubtlessly could be heard throughout the castle. If not the sound of Arthur's helmet and Gauntlets hitting the wall would have. Arthur looked absolutely murderous, Merlin slunk beside him.

" Arthur…Sire…It really wasn't THAT bad!"

" Not that bad? Not that bad?! Merlin, you humiliated me in front of the entire kingdom! I might expect this of another page, but YOU Merlin? Where was your head today?"

" Arthur, I'm sorry!"

"Yes, Yes you are…VERY sorry!" Arthur poured himself a glass of wine and threw himself, still in full armor into his chair.

" Shall I undress you, my lord?"

" Dear God in heaven, no. You are not touching me today! I'll do it myself. Merlin, do you think if I hung myself my father might have a chance of naming another heir?"

" Arthur…don't say that. You're over reacting. It was one little mistake!"

Arthur's eyes burned fire into Merlin's, " One little mistake? Merlin, the entire lower part of my armor fell down! I practically exposed myself to several high ranking members of the court and then as if that weren't bad enough, you had to come running with my shield to cover me."

Merlin sighed, " Is there anything else I can do for you my lord?"

"Yes, get out."

Merlin turned rubbing his eyes, then Arthur called after him. " Oh and Merlin, for heaven's sake take the rest of the day off and get some sleep."

"Yes, my lord."

Merlin did not rest however, as if he could have even if he wanted to. He spent the time instead rummaging through magic books trying to figure out who or what was calling him and how to make it shut up.

"Gaius! Gaius look at this! This sounds EXACTLY like what's been happening to me. A song that once heard haunts a man until he follows usually to his…doom. Maybe I better hope this isn't what's calling me.."

Gaius came over peering owlishly over Merlin's shoulder with his round glasses. "Let me see that." There was a long silence, then a sigh. " Merlin, that's a Siren. Their mermaids, they only haunt sailors. Unless you're planning a trip you're safe."

"You're sure they don't have any sisters on land?"

Gaius glared at him, "Merlin, my boy…no beast on earth can mimic the sound of a human voice, little own sing in human words. You are dealing with magic..human magic and I'm afraid you can only wait it out."

"Or find whoever's causing it and cut their tongue out."

"MERLIN! I am warning you now, if you follow that voice and if …if mind you..you make it back alive I will punish you so badly you'll wish you didn't."

Merlin put his head in his hands. " Gaius, I…"

Silence followed, Gaius calked his head curiously. " Merlin?"

Soft snoring was heard. Gaius approached and gently lowered Merlin's head to the counter and throwing a blanket over him, blew out the candle and retired to bed himself.

"Sorry, my boy." He said , replacing the small vial on the shelf as he passed, " But better a sleeping draft, then an execution."

Gaius had meant well. He had hoped drugging Merlin would result not only in him getting a good night's sleep for once, but also prevent any unwanted wanderings on Merlin's behalf. It didn't quite work out that way.

No sooner had Gaius left, then through his wall of sleep Merlin heard the voice.

"Follow me, Follow me,"

Half asleep Merlin nodded, lulled by the melody and the gentleness of the woman's voice, he passed out the door and in a sort of trance followed the gentle melody to the gate of the city where a cloaked figure stood. The figure holding a lantern to light the way, turned silently singing on:

"In a cave by a sapphire shore.

We shall walk through an emerald door.

And with a thousand whispered ever mores my life you shall be."

Somewhere, far away, Merlin's heart warned him of the dangers of his actions. But his mind was full of beauty and peace, he genuinely felt as though he were following the one woman who could make him happy, ease whatever pained him. Through the forest paths and through hill and dale he followed the shadow woman. He followed until they reached the broad lake that lay on the out skirts of Camelot. Here Merlin's senses began to return to him.

"Where am I?" he asked the figure, confusedly, " Why did you bring me here?"

The figure only sang on, stupidly Merlin followed her, his head still in a fog, made more intense by the woman's unearthly voice:

"Out of pain, out of time.

Life farewell, world goodbye.

In between, earth and sea we shall bide.

Follow me, Follow me."

Merlin did follow, the figure led him to the face of one of the mountains that surrounded the lake. Merlin watched, his vision clearing, as the hooded figure waved a hand over the wall and a cave appeared. The woman disappeared within still singing. "Follow me, Follow me…" Merlin tried to fight the urge but it was too much. He followed her deep into the cave. He touched the figure on the shoulder, " Who are you?"

Instantly the figure vanished . Merlin looked around puzzled then a laugh resounded from the cave mouth. Merlin turned to find Nimue laughing over at him. "Merliiin.." she mocked, " So disappointing, Merlin. All it took was just a little song, like a baby to its lullaby and now I have you." Merlin glared.

"No you don't, I'm leaving …" he turned to walk towards her but Nimue raised her hand and with one word Merlin could see a large boulder beginning to roll in front of the cave mouth. He ran forward, but the entrance was already half closed. "Nimue!" he cried as the entrance closed entirely. He heard Nimue laugh again then her song a mockery of the last:

_Now the pain, for all time._

_Life farwell, World goodbye._

…_.and with a thousand whispered ever mores you shall die and I be free._

_Follow me…follow me. _

Then there was silence. Merlin banged uselessly on the door then sunk down in frustration. What a fool he was he only hoped it wasn't too late to undo what he'd allowed to happen.

"Merlin? MerLIN!" Arthur still in his night clothes stuck his head out of his chamber door. " Where is that idiot?" he muttered to himself. At just that moment Morganna happened to be walking by. " Lost yourself again, have you?"

Arthur made a bow. " Once again, your grace enchants me Morganna. Have you seen Merlin?"

" He's not with you?"

"Obviously not! If you see him, tell him to get his…to come to me at once."

Morganna was observing him with her dark, mischievous eyes. " Why My lord, what is the matter?"

Arthur colored. " That's none of your concern."

"My Lord, you are my brother! If you are in need I am more than willing to assist you!"

Arthur stuck his long arm out the door and pointed at her. " Morganna, if you say one word about this to anyone I swear! Now find Merlin will you? Ask Gaius or Gwen they must know."

" So, will you be standing there in your underpants ALL day or can you manage?"

Arthur made to reach for her but Morganna swirled away with a laugh. Arthur couldn't help but smile, of course his sister could smile. She had Gwen for a servant, he had stupid Merlin. Arthur sighed and pulled his shirt over his head. There came knock on the door.

"FINALLY!" Arthur announced as he threw open the door in just his shirt and long under wear. " WHERE have you been, numb skull?"

There was Gwen, looking wide eyed and red from collar bone to nose tip.

"M-my Lord…I..I'm sorry. I was just.." She pointed up the hall, not sure where to put her eyes.

Arthur was staring stupidly at her in horror, suddenly he shut the door and poking his head out spoke to her as calmly as he could.

"Forgive me, Gwen..you see I was expecting Merlin.." No wait, that didn't sound right either, " You see, he's usually here in the morning so.." ARGH! Stop talking idiot, stop talking. Arthur hung his head. " What do you want Gwen?"

Gwen was choking on laughter, "I was wondering if you'd seen Merlin, but I suppose this answers my question. I'll just be going then, shall I?"

"No, wait." Arthur shut the door and threw on his trousers opening the door again he came out into the hall. " You haven't seen him either? Have you spoken to Gaius?"

" Perhaps, he's just avoiding you, my lord. After…um..yesterday."

"GweniVERE, yesterday is never, never to be spoken of again, do you understand? As to our mutual friend, he had better be bleeding or dead or once I find him he will be!"

" I'll speak to Gaius, my lord." But as she turned, Gwen suddenly turned to him again, " Arthur, if you see him before I do, find a way to let me know, will you?"

Arthur nodded and she disappeared down the hallway. Arthur watched her go, suddenly he felt a strange feeling in his chest. It wasn't pain exactly, more discomfort. It felt like cold water trickling through his veins or cold fingers threatening to squeeze his heart. Suddenly he realized, it was worry. It was not a feeling he was used to, future kings didn't worry. Future kings couldn't worry, they had to be certain, doubt was deadly both for a knight and for a ruler. Very few things made Arthur worry and he never would have guessed Merlin would make the muster. He stood staring at the door, furrowing his brow. Then just as quickly as it had come, the feeling faded. Arthur cast it from his mind and with a shake of his head continued dressing. After all, how far could Merlin have gone? He was like a falcon on a harness, he was allowed to fly free because Arthur knew he would always come back. Good old loyal Merlin. So why hadn't he flown home this time? Arthur set his shoulders and tried not to think about it, surely Gaius could explain everything.

" What do you mean Gaius hasn't seen him either? Gaius LIVES with him! Gwen, what is going on?"

Gwen stood before Arthur biting her lip with worry. Arthur couldn't help but notice the cat like M that formed on her forehead when she fretted. It was charming, at least it would have been any other time.

"Arthur, I honestly don't know. Gaius said he went to wake up Merlin today and he wasn't there."

Arthur slapped the wall, " What is it with that, pratt and sneaking away? I wonder what he's up to this time." Arthur saw Gwen's anxious look and he forced himself to smile. " Oh well, no worries. He'll come back, he always does. One thing about Merlin, he's predictable."

" He wasn't this time, was he?" said Gwen with a significant look, " Good day, my lord." With that she walked off, leaving Arthur frowning after her. He turned back to his business nonchalantly. But deep inside, the cold fingers of doubt gave a squeeze.

Back in the cave, Merlin sat his legs curled against his chest, his head resting on his knees. He was the very picture of defeat, no magic had worked in fact it seemed the more he stayed in the cave the weaker he got . Not just his powers, but himself, he shivered at the thought of dying alone in this place never to be found. What would the people back in Camelot think? Uther wouldn't care of course. But what of Gwen? Gaius? Morganna and Arthur…what would Arthur do?

He knew somehow that Arthur would come to his aid if he could only some how know. But that seemed impossible. Suddenly fear and desperation filled him and he cried out. "Arthur!" he called, making the stones ring, " ARTHUR!" Then too tired to continue he resumed his former position. "I'm sorry," he thought, " I am so,so, sorry."


	2. The Hunt and it's outcome

Time moves quickly, too quickly sometimes. When someone is missing it is easy to explain it away. " Oh I'm sure they've just stepped out for a while." Turns to, " Well, maybe they just didn't tell us they were leaving." And on and on it goes.

The tragedy is, as people are offering excuses time is passing. Hours pass, then a day and then two before people wake up enough to take action.

In all fairness to Arthur and Gaius, they tried. Arthur managed to talk Gaius out of riding out himself to look for Merlin and instead led his knights on an extensive and fruitless search. On the third day, things were looking bleak and the general tone in the castle was severely subdued.

Finally, Arthur decided to take matters into his own hands…only his hands. "Sometimes," he reasoned, " If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." He never would have admitted he just couldn't stand the worry any longer.

He had just mounted his horse, when Gaius appeared beside him.

" My Prince." Said Gaius with a bow.

" What is it Gaius? No, you cannot go with me if that's what you're going to ask again."

Gaius looked stern. " If I wanted to go with you, I wouldn't have to ask, my lord. With all due respect. What I came to tell you is, I may know why Merlin's gone off."

" When were you going to tell me this?"

" I know, It must seem idiotic of me, but I was worried about how it might sound. You see, Merlin has been hearing things."

Arthur raised an eye brow incredulously, "Things? What sort of things?"

"Voices, my lord." Said Gaius sheepishly, " In his sleep, for days now."

The look Arthur gave him made Gaius wish he'd never opened his mouth. But Arthur shook his head.

"All right, as much as it pains me to admit it, Merlin is as sane as any of us. So, what are we dealing with Gaius?"

Gaius did not dare say sorcery, another witch hunt was the last thing he needed so he played idiot. " I don't know sire. But I think I know where Merlin might be."

Arthur looked interested. Gaius continued. The words to the song the voice sung to Merlin describe a cave by a lake…"

" The lake of Avalon…" Arthur's eye's looked somber. " Magic, Perfect."

"Not really my lord, the lake its self is not magical, neither are the cliffs around. It is only the beings that convene there that have magic and they reside elsewhere."

Arthur nodded. " So your saying, some Fae or druid led Merlin to the lake and..what?"

Gaius and him met eyes, Arthur remembered another magical being that had once tried to drown him in the very same lake. Instantly he turned his horse and galloped off, Gaius watched him go somberly. If he ever trusted anyone with Merlin's life, Arthur would be the one. But he just hoped if ever a time he chose to think before he acted it would be now.

Arthur hadn't gotten very far when suddenly he heard a deep baying sound chasing after him. He pulled up his horse and turned. There stood his bore hound Nina, panting up at him. Arthur growled at the dog, " Go home!" Then his memory kicked in. Nina loved Merlin, she was devoted to him. Merlin fed her, Merlin walked her, Merlin snuck her into his house when it was raining. Nina would do anything for Merlin . But most importantly, Nina was born to track. Arthur smiled.

" Come!" he said, Nina stood panting away and even lay down. Arthur cursed, " Nina…" Arthur felt like an absolute fool, " Where's Merlin? Where is he? Merlin!"

Nina was up like a flash and baying up the path before Arthur could even turn his horse. " Blast it," he thought, " There are times when I'm so brilliant I even scare myself."

It was a long ride to the lake and there were many detours. By the time Nina finally led Arthur out of the trees to the lake and started running toward the cliffs. Arthur was very jaded, " If this turns out to be another blasted squirrel." He muttered, " I am not going to be happy."

Then he heard it, Nina's distinctive howl saved only for when she'd found her quarry. Arthur dismounted and walked toward the cliffs. There was Nina, wimpering and pawing at a large boulder at the base of the cliff.

" Oh look, my champion hunting dog has found a ROCK. Thank you, Thank you very much, FOR NOTHING! You stupid mongrel!"

Arthur kicked the stone. It moved slightly. As Arthur got closer he saw clearly streaks of blood on the edge of the boulder. Five, evenly spaced streaks. Almost like claws or … " Fingers…." Arthur realized, putting his own over them. For a moment he stood putting things together, then he began pushing on the rock.

"MERLIN!" he shouted, throwing his entire weight against the rock, " Merlin, it's Arthur, can you hear me?"

Silence met his ears. Finally the boulder yielded just enough to make a space big enough for a man to get through. Arthur stared into the darkness, which he realized with wonder was lit only by the glowing lights of the many crystals that filled it. " Magic…" breathed Arthur, " I might have known." He stepped inside and by the glow he picked his way along, calling for Merlin. Suddenly he stopped. In a small alcove in the wall of the cave, the one place where the crystals did not form huddled a shape. Arthur approached, the figure was curled into its self, its legs against its chest and its head resting on its knees. Arthur reached out and touched the figure's shoulder. " Merlin?" there was no reply, only a shuddering groan and as Arthur went to shake the figure a second time, to his horror it fell listlessly into his arms. Merlin's pale face turned to look at him, his blue eyes hazy.

"Arthur?"

Arthur gave a gasping laugh, not dead. But the happiness was short lived as he took in Merlin's heaving chest and trembling limbs. Three days…three days with no food or water. No not dead…but nearly. He put his arm beneath Merlin's head and took the water skin from his belt holding it with the other.

"Yes, yes it's me..it's all right, we've found you now."

Merlin only closed his eyes and shivered, when Arthur put the water skin to his lips he choked and pushed it away like it was deadly poison. Then he grabbed Arthur's arm, looking pleadingly into his eyes.

" Arthur, please don't leave me here! Please take me with you? I'm sorry I lied, I was only…"

Arthur quieted him, " What are you talking about? Of course you're coming with me! Merlin, I would never…"

"But you did! You came…"

Arthur looked piteously at Merlin, " It was a dream Merlin, there's something in this cave I can feel it."

"Then…you don't hate me?"

"No, of course not."

" Gaius is all right? He's not dead?"

Arthur winced, "What has this place been doing to you Merlin? Stop being ridiculous, everything's fine now you're safe."

Merlin released Arthur's arm and lay back gasping with relief. Arthur put the water to his lips again.

"Drink Merlin."

Merlin shook his head. Arthur raised his head and let the water run into Merlin's mouth. Merlin coughed. "Swallow."Said Arthur sternly. Merlin did so painfully, then several more times before he lay back . "Thank you." He whispered. Arthur ran a hand over his face. "Can you stand?"

Merlin made the bravest of tries, but in the end he had to lean most of his weight on Arthur, who led him half conscious to his horse and helped him into the saddle. As he pulled himself up behind his friend, Merlin muttered something.

"What?" asked Arthur,Merlin took a deep breath and spoke again. "I guess you're right, I am an idiot."

Arthur gave a tense smile and slipping a protective arm around his friend he rode off toward Camelot.

It is impossible to soften some news. When one comes barging in with a half dead person in your arms a certain panic sets in. Even if that person is "just a servant". Arthur had to fight off a dozen people with questions before he finally made it to Gaius's quarters.

Gaius had been mixing a potion of some kind, it immediately went crashing to the floor when Arthur came in carrying Merlin over his shoulder. For a moment he just stood stupidly too shocked to speak. Then he was in action.

" What's happened?" Gaius directed Arthur to the bed where he lay Merlin down. Gaius was frantic. "Merlin? Merlin!"

"It's all right Gaius, he's alive. He's just very weak. You were right, he was in that cave, all this time. I should have gone looking for him sooner, blast it!"

Gaius barely seemed to hear him. He was bending over Merlin, listening to his heart, his breathing, he seemed reasonably satisfied with both. But when he touched Merlins face he winced.

"He's ice cold..what was in that cave?"

"I don't know, but it wasn't natural. It felt like it was sucking the life from you."

Gaius covered Merlin with a blanket, " You don't need to stay, my lord. I thank you for finding him, now he is my responsibility."

Arthur seemed to recover himself, snapping back to his prince mode. " Right..I should go..pressing business, knights and all." He was staring at Merlin, his lips pressed together firmly.

"Perhaps, I should say a few words to him before I go, you know, to put him at ease."

Gaius smiled, " Of course , my lord."

Arthur approached, he was fighting mightily against his trembling as he reached for Merlin's hand. It was damp and icy in his own. He tried to sound unconcerned but the difference in tone was easily observed.

" You hang on, Merlin. Do you understand? I need you." Then he laughed, " Besides, who's going to polish my armor?" He ran one rough hand over Merlin's cold forehead and running a hand over his face again turned to go.

"Gaius, let me know if there's any change will you?"

"Of course my lord."

Arthur walked to the door then turned again, " Oh, Gaius. I'm sorry."

Gaius only nodded, Arthur walked out the door and punched the wall. He'd rescued Merlin, but time would tell if he'd saved him. If there was one thing Arthur hated it was being helpless and he'd never felt so helpless before in his life."


	3. Wholely broken

Merlin had always been resilient. In the short time Gaius had know the boy he had survived more brushes with death then the average soldier. But this time seemed different. Merlin's injuries were not grave. Water, food and rest should have been all he needed to recover. But, though his body did seem to rally with these, Merlin lacked the inner spark of strength Gaius had seen so many other times. It was as though, Nimue, in her evilness had devised a way to break Merlin from the inside as well as the outside. A sort of assassination of spirit, Gaius could not fully comprehend it and it frustrated him. All he knew was every hour it seemed Merlin slipped further and further away from him and he could not draw him back.

Gaius was half dozing by Merlin's bed when Merlin suddenly stirred and opened his eyes.

"Gaius?"

Gaius was very much awake after hearing that. He rose and went to Merlin's side. Merlin peered at him blearily, confusion on his face. "How long have I been sleeping?"

Gaius gave a small smile, his hands on Merlin's wrist. "Long enough. Really Merlin, you have to stop doing this to me, I'm not a young man you know."

"I know." Merlin managed a wisp of a smile. Then more seriously, "I'm sorry Gaius."

"No, I'm sorry. This wasn't your fault Merlin, it was mine. I.."

Merlin slowly raised his hand and layed it on his mentor's arm. "I know. I know what you did and I know you did it to help me. I don't blame you Gaius, all you've ever done is try to help me."

Gaius looked at Merlin, his vision blurring for a moment with tears. Merlin's eyes began to droop again, but Gaius called him back.

"I can help you, Merlin. But you must help yourself as well, if you want to live you must fight for it."

"I am." Said Merlin, " I'll always fight, you know that. If it comes down to life or death, I'll always choose life…if I can."

Merlin slipped into sleep then, Gaius smoothed the hair off of the boy's forehead and wiped his own tears away. Merlin's show of strength should have been encouraging. But there was something in the way he said. "If I can." That chilled him to the bone. He looked down at Merlin's still, pale face and spoke .

"If you can't I'll do it for you. Can you hear me? You might be here to protect Arthur, but I'm here to protect you. If you don't have the strength, I'll give it to you. Some how."

Gaius bowed his head in his hands and felt his old heart break another inch.

That evening, Gaius stayed by Merlin's bed. His mind whirled relentlessly as he struggled to come up with one more solution, one more cure to help Merlin. He had just been about to drift into sleep when suddenly he heard a sound like dead leaves blowing over a stone court yard.

"_Gaiiiius!"_

Gaius' eyes flashed open as he glanced around the room in fear. Then he noticed the flames in the fire place guttering as the wind blew down the chimney with a rasping, grating sound. He sighed with relief but the sound had reminded him of another he hadn't heard in years.

A sound he had tried to forget but never could. The voice of Uther's prisoner, Kilgara, the old dragon.

Gaius sat up straight in his chair, his answer suddenly staring him in the face. The Old one would know how to save Merlin, if anyone could tell what was wrong with him he could. But would Kilgara help him? After what Uther had done, what he had allowed Uther to do to him and his kind? Gaius knew he had to try, for Merlin's sake. After all, he and Kilgara had once had a bond of sorts, until Uther became suspicious and Gaius was no fool, he knew the same bond now existed between Kilgara and Merlin. Surely the old one would not turn away from Merlin, he was too important. Gaius made up his mind he would go to see the old dragon as soon as he could slip away tomorrow. He turned to Merlin who lay in a troubled sleep. "Hold on my boy," he whispered, " We may finally have our answer."

To Gaius's surprise, somewhere around eleven of the clock a knock came on the door and Arthur's voice came from the other side. "Gaius?"

Gaius startled, rose and opened the door. "Sire? It's the middle of the night, are you unwell?"

Arthur shook his head, " No, I've come about Merlin." He paused, "I…that is I thought…" he threw up his hands, " I couldn't sleep! There I've said it. I couldn't stop worrying about him so I came here. PLEASE don't let this get out Gaius if my father ever knew I had such concern for a servant…"

"Have no fear Sire," said Gaius lying a hand on Arthur's shoulder, "You have my word no one shall ever know you have compassion."

Arthur frowned, then looked to Merlin. "How is he?"

"Not well. He wakes up now and again, but he never seems to have the strength to stay awake very long. I fear he's fading…but I may have found a solution."

Arthur's eyes grew wide with excitement, " What?"

" That I cannot tell you, Sire. I have someone that may help, but he made me swear not to reveal his identity."

" I'm the king's son, it's my right to know…"

"Sire please," Gaius's eyes were desperate, " I have always been loyal to this kingdom, will you not just trust me?"

Arthur bowed his head, " I know that you will do what is best,Gaius. I never doubt that."

"Thank you, my lord."

Arthur moved to stand beside Merlin's bed, despite his attempt at a casual demeanor, Gaius knew he was as worried as he was. Arthur paused a moment, then after wiping a nonexistent piece of dirt out of the corner of his eye he spoke. "How soon can you go to this person you spoke of?"

" Tomorrow Sire, at first light..if duty permits."

"It will permit." Said Arthur, " You have my word."

"But, your father…"

Arthur straightened himself up to his full height, " I am my father's only son, his word may be your command, But mine is his. You will go with good graces Gaius."

Gaius bowed his head, "Thank you my lord."

Arthur turned back to Merlin, but suddenly a rattling crash came from behind him. He turned quickly to find Gaius on his knees beside his bench, his head in his hands.

"Gaius!" Arthur hurried over to him, but Gaius was already attempting to rise, Arthur knelt beside him steadying him. "Gaius, are you all right?"

"Yes..yes I'm fine," Gaius seemed irritated by his weakness, " Forgive me my lord, I don't know what came over me."

Arthur put his arm around Gaius and helped him to stand. "Gaius, your exhausted. Go get some rest, I'll stay with Merlin."

"Sire, I cannot ask you to.."

"You didn't ask me, I said I would. Are you telling me I can't do something Gaius?"

"No, my lord! Never."

"Then go and get some sleep. I'll call you if anything changes, I won't sleep tonight as it is."

"Yes, my Lord."

Arthur turned his face. Then he heard Gaius speak his name. He turned.

"Thank you, Arthur." He said quietly, "You don't know what this means to me."

Arthur nodded and Gaius disappeared behind the door.

A silence fell over the room. Arthur could hear the howl of the wind in the flu, the rasp of Merlin's heavy breathing and above all the beating of his own heart counting down the minutes of eternity with each beat.

After a time he spoke, more for the sake of his own sanity then anything.

"Merlin? Can you hear me in there? Well if you can I'd truly appreciate some company right now."

More silence. Merlin stirred and was silent again. Arthur sighed.

"Gaius is beside himself you know, so is Gwen …you know she's very fond of you. She'd be lost without you I think if anything ever…" he stopped. "Look, Merlin, enough is enough. You have to pull yourself together! I know you've been through hell but this isn't like you." Arthur paused, " You're going to make me say it aren't you Merlin? All right, here goes Arthur sounding like a girl. Merlin, you're one of the strongest people I know, stronger than me some times. I know you can do this I've seen you come through worse."

Suddenly Merlin's eyes opened, "Really? Stronger then you?"

Arthur's eyes grew wide, he slapped the arm of his chair. "You rat! How long were you pretending?"

"Not long, I swear." Merlin laughed weakly, "I never get to hear what you really think, can you blame me?"

"Yes."

"Fair enough…" Merlin blinked his eyes peering around blearily, " What time is it? Why are you here?"

"I'm taking over for Gaius for a bit, he needed some rest."

Merlin nodded unquestioningly and closed his eyes. Arthur spoke again.

"So, how about it then? Are you going to pull yourself together?"

"Arthur, I'm trying. Please, believe me."

Arthur cleared his throat, " I do." There was a pause then Merlin spoke.

"This isn't your fault Arthur."

Arthur startled. "I never said it was."

"I know, but you were thinking it."

"So, you can read my mind now? Is there no end to your talents Merlin?"

Merlin sighed, " All right, so you don't think it's your fault. Then humor me. I followed that voice Arthur, I went into the cave and I let myself be tricked. You saved me."

Arthur bowed his head, "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner."

"I know you would have if you could ."

Arthur smiled, Merlin breathed deeply. "I wish I could tell you it was going to be all right Arthur…"

"Merlin, shut it. Please."

"Sorry, you have to hear this. No matter how hard I try I can't get my feet under me with this one. I keep getting drawn down again and it's scaring me."

"Don't be scared…Gaius is going to help you."

Merlin closed his eyes and took another deep breath. " I'm not afraid for myself."

Arthur looked at him puzzled. Merlin continued.

"You're a good man Arthur, you have the heart of a lion but sometimes your brain doesn't quite catch up."

"Excuse me?"

"Just, listen to me. If you have to remember one piece of advice I've ever given you, let it be this. "Think."

Arthur looked at him, he forced a dismissive laugh. "It almost sounds like you're saying good bye."

"Not yet." Said Merlin, "Just in case."

Arthur nodded.

For a moment there was silence, then Arthur spoke. " As long as were bearing our souls…mind if I tell you a secret?"

"Go on."

" I like you Merlin."

"No!" Said Merlin in mock surprise, "Not you."

"Oh shut up, listen I'm serious. You're a great servant, best I've ever had and..and an even better friend. I don't want to lose you Merlin."

Merlin smiled, " I always knew deep down you respected me."

"Who says I respect you?" said Arthur with a smile as he roughed Merlin's hair. Merlin glared then smiled.

A moment or two passed in silence, then Arthur heard Merlin cough. He turned his head to find Merlin sitting up coughing as though struggling for air.

"Merlin? What is it?"

Merlin gasped his lips beginning to change color. "Arthur…help.."

Arthur put his arm under Merlin's back feeling helpless. Merlin's wheezing increased and he gripped Arthur's arm desperately his eyes imploring. Arthur put his hand on Merlin's face.

"Merlin, listen to me…breathe. You have to breathe, don't think about anything else just breathe."

Merlin nodded but soon his eyes began to roll back in his head. Arthur cursed, " Stay with me, Merlin…come on! GAIUS! GAIUS!"

Gaius came bursting out of his room and was beside Arthur in a moment. His old eyes were wide with panic as he took Merlin in his own arms.

" There's no time." He said finally, " He needs help, help I can't give him. " With that Gaius began to try to lift Merlin from the bed, with an effort he managed to grasp him by the shoulders and put his arm around his waist and so drag him towards the door.

"Where are you taking him?" asked Arthur, " Gaius, he'll never make a trip now!"

"It is not long to where I am going, we have no other choice. Trust me, my lord."

Arthur made a step forward, "I'll go with you."

"No. I must do this alone. "

Arthur looked like he might go mad, " Go…save him. "

Gaius hurried out the door and down the silent hall turning down the steps that led to the dungeons. Merlin groaned through his wheezing in protest.

"No, not the dark.."

"Hush, no one's going to hurt you. I'm getting you help. Hold on."

Merlin fell silent again.

When he reached the Dragon's cave, Gaius lay Merlin at the foot of the tunnel, out of harm's way just in case Kilgara was feeling feisty. Then he stepped to the edge of the rock ledge that spanned over the deep pit where the dragon was tethered. His eyes moved up the stone walls to the cavernous space above, there was no sign of Kilgara.

"Kilgara?" Gaius' tone was a question, not a command though inside his heart hammered. What if he was refused? This was his last hope. His voice had a hint of urgency when he called again. "Kilgara, are you there?"

Nothing but the sound of water dripping and the murmur of air through the cavern. Gaius bowed his head. "Kilgara, please…I know I've angered you, but I need your help."

There was a flutter of wings and the old dragon descended from his perch settling on the stone pedestal on the either side of the divide. He crooked his legs beneath him revealing the thick chain that bound his hind leg to the pedestal like a falcon to a glove. He fixed his eyes on Gaius.

"Well, look who's here. Gaius, the traitor. What brings you here after all these years?"

Gaius took a deep breath, "You may call me whatever you like, I deserve it. All I ask is you give me your help."

The dragons voice was a purr, he was clearly luxuriating in Gaius's desperation.

"Why should I help you, old man? You betrayed me for that fool Uther, you left me here to rot when you promised you would set me free. Why in the gods name would I waste my time helping you?"

"I am not asking for myself." Said Gaius, "I am asking for Merlin."

The dragon snorted, " So, the young warlock has lost his nerve. What has he gotten himself into this time?"

"He is dying, Kilgara."

Kilgara suddenly lifted his head up to its full height and gave a snort. His eyes flared as he looked at Gaius his voice had an anxiety Gaius had never heard before. "Dying? That cannot be. "

"But, it is!" said Gaius, " Now will you help me or not?"

"This is terrible!" Cried Kilgara, " The young Warlock cannot die, he has not fulfilled his destiny."

"Then help him!"

The Dragon lowered his head, "Bring him to me."

Gaius hurried to Merlin and tried to lift him, but Merlin would not rise. Gaius spoke to him urgently.

"Come on, Merlin. Just a bit further."

Merlin groaned and draped over Gaius he stumbled to the ledge where he crumpled to the ground and lay still wheezing pitifully. Gaius helped him lay back, propping him against his arms. Kilgara moved close to them as though disbelieving what he saw.

"Young warlock?"

Merlin did not reply, his eyes rolled in his head. Kilgara's voice took on a commanding tone.

"Merlin!"

Merlin gave a groan and opened his eyes, he startled and clung to Gaius. But Kilgara spoke again, his voice was the gentlest Gaius had ever heard it.

"Don't be afraid, when have I ever hurt you? I'm going to help you. But you must do as I say."

Merlin nodded weakly. Kilgara fixed his amber eyes on Merlin's own and spoke. " Look into my eyes. Look into my eyes and listen to my voice."

Merlin did so, awe on his face. Kilgara spoke again.

"Listen only to me, forget your pain and your fear. Trust me." Slowly Kilgara moved until the very tip of his snout rested on Merlin's cold forehead. Merlin was shivering but he closed his eyes. Kilgara began to speak in a language Gaius could not understand, slowly Merlin seemed to relax and as Kilgara's voice continued Merlin reached out and put his hands on the dragon's muzzle as though to draw on the energy of the dragon's magic. Then Kilgara took a deep breath and released it . A light enveloped Merlin, it grew brighter and brighter and Merlin's hands dropped from Kilgara's muzzle as he struggled.

Gaius made a movement forward but Kilgara glared at him. "Do not touch him."

Gaius watched helplessly as Merlin convulsed then suddenly the very air its self seemed to shiver and Merlin arched his back screaming in agony. Then the light faded and he dropped back in a limp pile and lay still. Kilgara closed his eyes with a sigh.

Gaius rushed forward lifting Merlin into his arms. The boy did not stir, his skin was cold and with a shiver Gaius realized he was no longer breathing.

"Merlin!" Gaius turned to the dragon rage in his eyes, "You've killed him! You promised me…"

"I have kept my word. Patience, old one. These things take time."

Uncomprehending Gaius stared at him, " Time? Time? We have no time left! He's dead Kilgara, it's over!"

"Peace!" said Kilgara, "He will hear you and he will believe you. Your fear will make it so! Be still…it won't be long now."

Gaius put his head in his hands. His world was ending, how could he be expected to be still? This was his worst night mare, he was trapped in an unspeakable dream and he could not break free of it. Then quite suddenly, he woke up.

Merlin suddenly gave a deep rattling gasp and began to cough. Gaius looked down in shock as the boy opened his eyes and looked up at him. As he lifted him, Merlin spoke.

"Gaius?"

"It's all right, Merlin. I have you, it's over now." He looked to Kilgara who was looking away from him his head held high.

"Thank you." Whispered Gaius, "I have no words, I am sorry I doubted you."

Kilgara turned slightly to look at Gaius out of the corner of his eye "It is not the first time people have misjudged me, have no fear. I am glad things are once again as they should be."

Merlin peered at the dragon confusedly, his voice was puzzled. "You? You saved me?"

Kilgara bowed his head, "Young Warlock, you will never fully know how important you are. Not only to me, but to the universe. I have saved you so you can save us."

Merlin looked at him, " I don't understand that, but thank you anyway." Then he paused. "Are you crying?"

Kilgara turned away, snorting again. "Dragons don't cry. "

Gaius smiled and Merlin echoed it, "All right then, but I know deep down you're starting to like me."

Kilgara snorted, "Do not flatter yourself. But I will grant you this, there is something about you young Warlock. You have a sort of, charm about you. I cannot help but be fond of you. Gods only know I wish I could. Now go, both of you. I'm not in the mood to socialize."

Gaius nodded and went to lift Merlin, but he was already on his feet smiling.

"I can walk. Gaius, I'm well again."

Kilgara spoke suddenly. "Just a moment. There is one, small detail. My magic isn't powerful enough to fix all that is wrong. The young warlock has lost that which he cannot live with out . He must find it again in order to live. My magic will give him only four days."

"Four days?" Gaius turned to the dragon,

"Unless what is lost is found."

"But what is it I've lost?" asked Merlin.

"That you must find out on your own. But I can tell you where it can be found."

Merlin looked up at Kilgara's ancient face. "Where?"

"Listen carefully young warlock, I shall not repeat myself. Four days ride from here is a cave…"

"Not another cave!"

"Yes, but this one is the good sister of the cave you've seen already. Where that cave kills, this one heals. It is there you will regain what you lost and then you will be truly restored."

Merlin looked down. Then Gaius spoke. "What happens if he doesn't find the cave in four days?"

Merlin pursed his lips, "I die."

Gaius turned to Kilgara.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. "

Gaius bowed his head for a moment. Then nodded. Slowly they turned and exited the chamber. As they walked slowly back to their quarters Merlin spoke.

"I can't think of anything I've lost, can you Gaius? How can I lose something I can't live without and not know what it is?"

Gaius sighed, "I don't know Merlin, but we'll figure it out."

"Speaking of losing things," said Merlin, " I know what Arthur's going to lose the minute I walk into that room. His mind."

Gaius laughed, "I think I'm way ahead of him my boy."


	4. Strangely Normal

Sometimes one must choose the lesser of two evils. So it was with Merlin and Gaius. When faced with the dilemma of either lying to Arthur about what had happened and telling the truth which would lead to certain death and possibly not just their own. Not to mention a very upset dragon which no one ever wants in their immediate vicinity. It was fortunate that it was not hard to figure out which was the greater evil.

" He's not here…thank the Gods! Merlin, get in the bed."

"Are you always that forward?"

Gaius's voice was a growl, " Stop clowning around and do it, do you WANT him to figure us out?"

Merlin did as he was told. Gaius was rummaging through his shelves. Merlin spoke then.

" Ok, so, I just act sick?"

" Not exactly…" Gaius' voice was distracted as he read labels, " Arthur is his father's son, he can smell a lie a mile away."

" Sooo, what do we do? You're not going to make me sick again after all we just went through are you?" Merlin's joking grin faded as he realized, " Gaius? Gaius, no! Are you mental?"

" It will only hurt a little and for a short time…an hour or two at most. You can't look completely cured it will give us away. This…" he shook a vial at him, " This is burdock root, it will make you sweat and feel weak and tomorrow you'll feel like you've drunk a keg of mead but it's harmless and it won't last long. It was the best alternative believe me."

Merlin sighed, " I believe you." Gaius poured a few drops from the vile into a glass of water and handed it to Merlin. Merlin raised the glass to him with a sigh and drank it. The flavor was bitter and it made him wince, almost instantly he felt a warmth going through his body.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Now we wait." Said Gaius simply.

When Arthur returned the scene he saw seemed realistic enough. Gaius sat beside Merlin's bed, wiping his fore head and Merlin lay half asleep as before. However, considering he had just seen Merlin dragged out of his chambers in his death throws this seemed like a miracle to Arthur. He did not even try to hide his relief .

"Thank God!"

Gaius looked up surprised. Merlin made a muffled sound of merriment which caused Gaius to hold the cloth over his mouth a little longer then he should.

"Sire, I was just going to find you."

"You did it, didn't you? That friend of yours healed Merlin, didn't he?" Arthur laughed, clapping Gaius on the shoulder. " I wish you'd tell me who he is, he should be rewarded."

Gaius was silent. Arthur looked over at Merlin. " He is all right, isn't he? He's soaking…"

"His fever's broken, it's a good sign. With luck he should be back to normal in a day or two."

Arthur walked to the side of Merlin's bed, " I can't believe it, I thought for sure I'd come back and find him dead."

Merlin could control himself no longer he opened his eyes as though just awaking. " Sorry to disappoint you."

Arthur jumped back in surprise, then smiled. " You do the damndest things to get out of work Merlin, really."

"I have to. I work for you, it's self preservation."

Arthur ran a hand over his face in relief, " I never thought I'd enjoy you disrespecting me. Welcome back."

Merlin just smiled. He knew Arthur was a man of few words..well few meaningful words but his eyes spoke volumes.

Arthur turned back to Gaius, " Well, everything seems to be all right here. I should go get some sleep and probably tell Gwen she can stop praying." He added the last part quickly before darting out the door. Once he was gone Merlin propped himself up on his arm looking at Gaius.

"So do you think he bought it?"

" Do I really need to say yes?"

Merlin smiled, " I feel bad lying to him, but it's only a little lie."

"Lying is necessary if people don't want to understand the truth." Said Gaius, " But it's never desirable, remember that Merlin."

Merlin nodded, than lay back down rolling onto his back his arms behind his head. " Gaius?"

"Yes, Merlin?"

" Are you sure Arthur can't know about the other cave?"

Gaius looked at him, " What do you think? Arthur and magic? No, Merlin he cannot."

" I wish Arthur was more open minded, because I need him on this one."

Gaius sighed, " We'll think of something my boy. Brains over brawn, remember that one."

Merlin closed his eyes, " I'll keep telling myself that."

The next day Merlin's strength returned and since Arthur thought he was still "recovering" he spent his time preparing for the trip to the cave. Packing was the easiest part, anyone can throw things into a pack and plot out a map. It was the part about finding a suitable excuse to tell Arthur why he was suddenly so keen on traveling, especially after his illness. The dragon's riddle was no easy matter either. " That which you cannot live without has been lost. For you to heal, you must find it." Couldn't the dragon have at least told him WHAT he was looking for? Merlin's head was aching with the effort of remembering. Gaius came to call him for breakfast and Merlin could tell by his worried expression that he looked as bad as he felt.

"Good morning, Gaius. I'll be right out."

" Merlin, you look like death."

"Almost met him, thanks Gaius."

Gaius frowned, " You know what I mean. Did that burdock root do you more damage then I intended?"

"It wasn't the root…that was bad enough though, thanks for that. No I've been up all night trying to solve this blasted riddle. What can't I live without and how do I find it?"

Gaius rubbed his face, " We had better figure this out and fast. Are you going to go to Arthur today? You do realize you have to leave tomorrow?"

Merlin put a hand to his stomach as nausea threatened to overcome him. " And you do realize there is no way I'm eating breakfast now."

Gaius grasped his shoulder, " I am serious Merlin. I know how frightened you must be, so am I. But we don't have time to panic."

Merlin nodded, " I'll tell him today. I'll say…I'll tell him I need to run an errand for you."

"As though I'd send you out after you nearly died."

"You might. If it was something really important you couldn't do yourself. Like, gather a crystal, from a cave for example. "

" That's good..keep going."

"A crystal for a draft that requires a certain mineral found only in that one particular cave."

"Very good, Merlin. But why couldn't I do this on my own?"

"Because…Because your too old!" Merlin's face was joyous, Gaius's was not. " I mean..too busy…yes that's it."

" Good, now put down the shovel your using to dig your own grave and go tell Arthur…we still have another riddle to unravel. "

Merlin nodded and went to race off. Gaius halted him.

"Merlin…"

Merlin turned, " What?"

"Try to act frail, will you?"

Merlin nodded and ran off. Here went nothing, for once he was hoping Arthur wouldn't think before he acted. He hoped he wouldn't pick now to listen to his advice.

"Let me get this straight, Merlin. You want me, to give you permission to go on a three day journey to ANOTHER cave, risking your health after you've just managed to recover from your most recent fiasco and I should do all this because Gaius needs a ROCK?"

Merlin squirmed, " A crystal actually, not a rock. But yeah, that's the general idea."

"Merlin! Have you lost your mind? I don't know what kind of death wish you have but I'm not going to be a party to it! No, Merlin, absolutely not! Tell Gaius to go himself…busy or not."

"I would you see…but." Merlin came in close and lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, " I don't know if you've noticed sire, but..Gaius isn't as young as he used to be. I don't know if he should go on a long trip like that."

Arthur looked over his goblet of juice at Merlin, " Merlin…this is Gaius…he's fit as a fiddle. WHAT is so important about this trip? "

Merlin looked at his feet squirming. Gods forgive him he was going to have to lie again. Sorry Arthur.

"All right, I promised I wouldn't say anything but…the draft Gaius is making, it's for Gwen."

Arthur put down his goblet. " Gwen's fine I saw her this morning."

"No not for her, it's…it's for a friend a very good friend…she doesn't live in Camelot she lives in another of the towns. She's very sick, the doctor says she doesn't have more than a few days at the most."

" That's very sad, Merlin. But Gwen understands that sometimes we can't help everyone."

Merlin nodded, " I'll go tell her that sire. I'll tell her to tell her friend and her seven little children that Arthur Pendragon said that their mother is going to die because "Things just happen" I'm sure Gwen will LOVE that."

Arthur stopped chewing in mid bite . He seemed to be weighing Merlin's words.

"All right, fine..you can go. But hurry back, you're my servant not Gaius' remember that."

Merlin broke into a relieved smile, " Thank you sire."

Arthur spoke as he turned to leave, " Um..Merlin."

" Yes, sire?"

" There's no need to tell her about this conversation is there?"

" None that I can think of."

Arthur lifted his glass to Merlin a look of relief on his face, " Godspeed Merlin."

"Thank you, sire."

With that Merlin turned to go. But suddenly out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the shields on the wall of the dining hall that hung over Arthur's head begin to tilt forward. Merlin was horrified to see it slip free of its nail and plunge toward Arthur's head. Merlin flicked his eyes immediately the words of a spell fell from his lips reflexively in a barely audible whisper.

Nothing happened, the shield fell with a loud clatter upon the floor but not before striking Arthur in the shoulder.

Merlin's blood ran cold. He ran to Arthur as he heard him cursing with pain, holding his shoulder…his right shoulder…his sword arm. Merlin groaned inwardly as he knelt beside Arthur.

"Arthur? Arthur, let me see…how bad is it?"

" Don't touch it you idiot! Ah, blast it I think it's broken…Get Gaius!"

"Let me take you to him…here."

Arthur pushed Merlin away, " You'd be dragging me there in two minutes. Get him, Merlin. Why in god's name didn't you warn me? Are you blind?"

"I'm sorry sire," said Merlin feeling guilt wash over him, " I'm so sorry."

Then he took off at a run.

As it turned out, things were not as bad as they seemed. Arthurs shoulder was badly bruised and sprained but would heal just fine. Arthur even apologized for blaming Merlin, after all there was nothing he could have done. The last part made Merlin's stomach churn.

When they returned to their quarters, Gaius turned to Merlin.

"What happened?"

" Arthur told you, the shield slipped and…"

Gaius leveled his eyes at him, " You know what I mean! You could have stopped that in a moment, where was your magic Merlin?"

Merlin bowed his head, " I don't know. It just, didn't work."

Gaius put his head to one side. " Didn't work? Show me a spell…"

"What spell?"

" I don't know…bring that book over here without touching it."

Merlin smiled, " That's easy! I got this!"

Five minutes later Gaius got bored.

"Merlin, give it up boy, it's not moving."

Merlin put his hands on his head. " I don't understand…Gaius what's wrong with me?"

Gaius was looking somber. " Merlin…I think we may have figured out what you've lost."

Merlin looked at him quizzically for a moment, then a look of horror filled his eyes. " Oh no…Gaius there has to be some mistake. My powers can't be gone..I..I need them! Gaius I can't …"

"You can't live without them? That's right, you cannot. Merlin it's your powers Nimue destroyed, it's your powers you need to get back . Kilgara was right, You literally cannot live without them."

Merlin sat down with a groan, " This can't be happening…now I can't even use magic. Gaius I'll go crazy ! I can't do this…"

" You must! Merlin, your powers never defined who you were. They were only a part of you, all you need is inside you. All you have to do is find it."

Merlin looked at him, " I'm sorry Gaius."

"You can make it up to me by getting to that cave in three days. It will be all right Merlin, I promise."

Merlin nodded but his heart was heavy it seemed already he could feel the emptiness within him, the hole that his powers had once filled. He set his teeth and forced himself to look up at Gaius. " I'll leave as soon as it's light."

Gaius took his arm, " If I could be half as brave as you are my boy I'd be glad of it. Get some rest you'll need it. "

Merlin didn't move, he seemed engrossed in a potted fern near Gaius's work bench. Gaius looked at him curiously, " Is something else troubling you?"

Merlin looked at him. "No…it's just if this doesn't work."

" It will work. Stop doubting yourself."

" We need to talk about this Gaius…if I don't come back…"

Gaius turned tortured eyes on Merlin, " Merlin, please, don't make me talk about this."

Merlin sighed, " I'm sorry Gaius. All I'm asking is…watch out for Arthur?"

" Haven't I always?"

Merlin nodded, turned to go then he spoke again. " Gaius…if things turn out differently…if…I come home but I'm not the same, what's going to happen with us?"

Gaius squinted at him, " Not the same? How?"

" If I don't have my powers…at least not like they used to be. If I can't protect Arthur. Will it change anything between us?"

Gaius looked at him, " Exactly what do you think will change?"

Merlin bowed his head, he had no words. Gaius looked at him sternly, his voice was stern.

"Merlin. You had better not be thinking what I think you're thinking."

" Let's face it Gaius, I'm not much use to anybody without my powers."

Gaius' voice was sterner than ever, " Is that what's frightening you? You're faced with death and you're worried I'll turn you out if you lose your magic?"

"That's worse than death for me! "

Gaius looked at him, then he approached and put a hand on his shoulder. " Merlin, there is nothing…nothing…that would ever make me wish you away. You're like a son to me…I can't do without you…I can't imagine…"

Gaius could not continue, he threw his arms around Merlin tears flowing down his cheeks. Merlin embraced him awkwardly. After a few moments Gaius gathered himself and spoke again.

"You'll still be you without your powers Merlin. You'll just have to use your brain a bit more than you already have been."

Merlin nodded, " I will. I promise."

Gaius put both his hands on Merlin's shoulders, " Powers or no powers, you must promise me Merlin. Promise me you'll come back to me."

Merlin gave a sideways smile. " I'll come back to you Gaius, I promise."

Gaius nodded patting Merlin's shoulder and wiping at his eyes.


	5. A hard road and a good friend

The next morning as Merlin stood checking the buckles on his saddle bags, Gaius strode up behind him.

"How is that buckle? Any change from a second ago?"

Merlin sighed and turned his eyes to his tutor. " I know, I suppose I should be going."

A silence fell as he and Gaius met eyes. "This doesn't have to be a long good bye, does it?"

"I'd rather it weren't." said Gaius with a sad smile. Merlin embraced his tutor feeling the frail old arms holding tighter then perhaps he meant to . When they parted, Merlin took Gaius's hand in his.

"See you soon, Gaius." He said pointedly, Gaius nodded somberly. " God speed my boy."

Merlin nodded and mounted his horse. He paused taking a look around him. Something felt strange…something was missing.

"Where's Arthur?"

"The Prince had early training this morning, he's a busy man Merlin."

Merlin in spite of himself felt disappointed.

"I thought he might have come to say good bye."

Gaius layed a hand on Merlin's leg. "You WILL see each other again Merlin, I know it. Just as I know we'll see each other again. Have faith."

Merlin nodded.

_It's fine._ He thought,_ I don't need Arthur. I'm strong, I'm powerful I'm…lying out my arse._

Quickly before fear gripped him he turned his horse. "Stay safe Gaius."

Gaius' silence said volumes, it stuck with Merlin long into his journey.

Merlin traveled in silence. The only sound in his ears being the hoof beats of his horse on the hard packed earth of the road.

His horse. Not many servants owned horses, Arthur had given him the horse as a reward for good service. "Besides," he remembered Arthur saying, " You two deserve each other! He's as dumb as you are!"

Merlin had never found the young horse to be dumb, quite the opposite really. So, he took Arthur's remark as a compliment, with Arthur you had to take what you could find.

When Merlin came to the deep, green forest that surrounded Camelot his horse came to a complete stop. For lack of an audience Merlin spoke to it.

" I know, I know, I don't like these woods much either. But there's nothing for it." The horse turned to him and snorted, " Even you think I'm an idiot don't you?"

The horse wickered and Merlin patted it's neck, " You know something…I'm beginning to think your right. Come on." With that Merlin rode into the forest before him.

The proud English oaks and ash trees that made up the forest were so thickly intertwined they formed a canopy above that allowed sunlight to penetrate only in rays and patches giving the forest around a strange patch work quality. As Merlin rode in and out of the strange patterns of light and shadow he was suddenly startled by the raucous call of a raven that in an explosion of feathers burst from a nearby copse of trees making his horse dance.

Merlin managed to gain control of the startled animal. He glared at the raven where it sat regarding him with its black bead eyes from a nearby tree branch.

"Get out of here, you!"

"No!" croaked the raven in its nasal voice, " No, No, No!"

Merlin shook his head with a laugh. " No respect, even from the birds!" He was about to turn his horse and continue on his way when suddenly the animal pricked its ears and flared its nostrils staring at a patch of brush a few feet off. Merlin could hear something rooting and rustling behind the leafy barrier.

"Now what?" he thought out loud, just as the brush parted and the biggest, blackest, boar Merlin had ever seen emerged.

"No..way."

The boar squealed angrily and Merlin turned his horse to run.

" MERLIN STAY WHERE YOU ARE!"

Merlin drew up his reins startled as a voice came from the shadows nearby.

"Who's there?"

" Shut up, Idiot!"

"Arthur?" Merlin felt relief wash over him.

"Oh how I wish I wasn't…" Arthur hissed , " Stay still."

Merlin obeyed, the boar fixed its half mad eyes on him. Foam dripped from its immense tusks as it took a step forward.

"Arthur…"

No response. The boar pawed the ground, swinging its head in rage. Merlin felt his stomach churn.

"Arthur?"

All at once , with a popping roar the boar rushed at Merlin murder in its eyes.

"ARTHUR!"

The hiss of an arrow filled the air and instantly the boar collapsed to its knees a single cross bow bolt in its head. Merlin sighed with relief.

Arthur appeared on his horse looking smug. " Did you see that shot? Did you?"

"I had my eyes closed, sorry. I thought I was going to die you see…"

Arthur had dismounted and was admiring his kill. His arm still bore the bandages from his earlier injury. The sight of it made Merlin wince.

"You know what your problem is Merlin? You have no faith in me."

"Yeah, well you kept me waiting long enough."

"You're welcome."

Merlin looked away. "What are you doing here? Gaius said…"

"Gaius said, exactly what I told him to say if anyone asked where I'd gone."

" So you mean to tell me you've been following me this whole way?"

Arthur turned back to the bore, " Perhaps…"

Merlin smiled, " You could have just come with me."

" No, I have a reputation to keep up."

" Right, can't have the future king of Camelot out helping people now can we?"

Arthur glared at him, then returned his gaze to the boar . "Strange…"

"What? Thought he was someone you knew?"

Arthur did not turn his head, " I'm keeping count Merlin, that's two, don't make me reach four."

Merlin smiled, nothing would happen when Arthur reached four. It never did. But Arthur had to think he believed his threats, it was only respectful.

"This boar is black." Said Arthur, " I've never seen a pure black boar, ever. It's a shame we don't have time to take a trophy."

" We?" Merlin put his head to one side, " When did this become we?"

" When I decided it would."

Merlin waved his hand, " Oh no! This is my responsibility Arthur, I'll be fine on my own."

" I'll be the judge of that."

"I don't need a baby sitter Arthur."

Arthur mounted his horse importantly, " I certainly came in handy when that boar was after you didn't I? If Gaius must send you out so soon after your illness, then it's only in my best interest to keep an eye on you. You are my servant."

"But your father…"

"Thinks I'm on patrol for a day or two, I know how to cover my tracks Merlin. No worries there. Merlin sighed. " I don't have time to argue."

" Good, because you wouldn't win. Besides, I don't ask your permission. You ask mine."

_That's once Arthur._ Merlin thought acidly. The prince wasn't the only one that could count.

"So, lead on Merlin. Where are we going?"

Merlin had figured this out, the good thing about sleepless nights is they give you a lot of time to think.

The song Nimue had sung had been a map, a riddle of sorts.

It had spoken of a place not of this world, a place " In between, earth and sea."

An Island. An Island between two worlds.

The Isle of Souls. Merlin had read of it in one of Gaius' many books. The Isle of Souls was said to be a link between this world and the next, not unlike The Isle of the blessed, except even fewer knew of it.

He knew where he was going, he just hadn't counted on Arthur coming with him. Now he had to do some mincing of words.

" Gaius, said that the cave is located on an Island, one to the south. It's known as the Isle of souls."

Arthur gave him an incredulous look. " You mean St. George's Isle? "

"That would be what they call it now, yes."

Arthur made a noise almost as derisive as his look. " Merlin, the only thing of use on that Island is dirt and even that's supposed to be cursed. Filthy pagan place."

Merlin silently added another mark to the tally he was keeping on Arthur in his head.

"Well, there's a cave there to…somewhere and that's where I need to go."

"A lot of trouble for a rock don't you think? Gaius must be mad sending you out so soon after your illness. I'm surprised at him."

Merlin sighed, " Arthur, I'm fine. "

"You nearly died, Merlin. You don't just get up and dance after that. Believe me, I should know."

" I appreciate your concern Arthur, but I feel fine."

Arthur shook his head, " Have it your own way. St. George's Isle is south of here, if we keep on this road roughly we should get there in…"

"Two days. I know."

Arthur's eyes grew wide in surprise, " Well done, Merlin! You've planned this out."

" Of course, I'm not a total idiot."

"Not totally, no."

" Let's go Arthur."

Arthur waved a hand ahead of them. "Lead on then."

Merlin urged his horse forward it felt strange riding ahead of Arthur and as a shiver passed through his body he began to wish he hadn't said he knew the way. Merlin had been lying when he said he didn't want to be protected. He did, just not by the one person he had sworn to protect.

Before he could dwell on this long, Arthur rode up beside him.

"You're awfully grim. Are you sure you're allright?"

Merlin nodded, " Really I'm fine." There was a moment of silence then Arthur spoke.

"Your first quest Merlin, you should be proud."

" Oh I wouldn't be so sure it was my first." Said Merlin, keeping his eyes ahead of him. Arthur was determined to hit that fourth mark in Merlin's tally.

"Oh right, I'd forgotten about the questing beast. Good job there, by the way."

Merlin gritted his teeth, " Arthur…I have no words. None that I can say anyway."

"Oh come on, I was kidding! Merlin…Merlin?"

Merlin had become distracted by a pair of Ravens that were flying by.

"Merlin!"

Merlin startled, " Sorry, were you saying something? I got distracted."

" I can see that, by a couple of birds. Remind me never to assign you guard duty."

Merlin gave a crooked smile, a strange chill had begun to steal over him. " We should keep going." He said burrowing a bit deeper into his coat. As they set off again Merlin felt the cold sweat beginning to break out on his body. " So it begins." He thought, " But how will it end?"

" Merlin, I think we should camp."

" Just a bit further."

This argument had been going on for about twenty minutes and now it was becoming ridiculous. The sun was not only setting it was nearly set and the road was beginning to blend into a dark blur impossible to navigate. But Merlin, like anyone short on time, was being irrational.

" Merlin, this is ridiculous. You're asleep in your saddle!"

"I am not!" Merlin turned to Arthur, trying to shake off his stupor. " Besides all I have to do is follow the road."

Arthur ran a hand over his face in frustration, " What road Merlin? We can't even see the road any more. Look, I'm finding a place to camp. I suggest you follow me."

Merlin turned his horse to follow Arthur grudgingly. He knew Arthur was right, even as he spoke twilight was losing ground to night and worse still he could feel himself losing ground to the witches spell as another day died and a part of him with it.

When they reached a suitable spot, a small clearing near a fallen tree, Arthur dismounted. " I still say we could have gone further." Said Merlin stubbornly, just as fate would have it he went to dismount and almost fell off his horse. Arthur raised an eye brow. Merlin just cursed and shook his head as he tended to the horses.

" I hope you can see well enough to get fire wood."

Merlin glared at him, he knew it wasn't Arthur's fault he was an arse but sometimes it was hard to remember. " Did you bring flint and metal or am I expected to use my finger?"

" Merlin, would it kill you to show some respect?"

Merlin sighed, " Sorry, I'll be fine."

Merlin walked off struggling to keep his trembling limbs still. Suddenly, Arthur called to him.

"Merlin?"

"Yes, Sire?" Merlin hissed through his teeth. Arthur's tone was solicitous.

"You are all right, aren't you? You look a bit..unsteady."

" Stop being a girl Arthur, I'm fine. Except for the fact I've been on the back of a horse all day."

Arthur went silent and Merlin set off into the woods picking up sticks and cursing Arthur all the while. If only to take his mind off his own discomfort. He'd gathered as much wood as he could carry and was making his way back to camp when the cry of a raven pierced the silence. Merlin turned to it, then another came as though in answer and another and yet another. A flock of twelve ravens suddenly descended on the trees around him croaking their laughter at him.

"Go away!" shouted Merlin, " Shoo!" " No!" croaked the ravens, " No, no, no, no."

Merlin glared at them and turned his back. Suddenly a gust of wind blew over him and his legs suddenly stiffened and collapsed beneath him . The spasm spread over his body making him cry out in pain. In his ears the sound of a woman's laughter rang. He opened his mouth to call out but his throat went taut and no sound could escape. He could barely breathe.

"Arth…" he gasped, " Arthur…" but it was a pitiful rasp. Suddenly a storm of black wings and talons descended on him. Shiny black beaks like daggers dug at his flesh and he screamed silently. " Arthur!" his attackers mocked, " Arthur!"

Merlin put his hands over his head unable to fight the birds. Suddenly, in the distance he heard someone shouting but could not make out the words. Then his senses left him.

The Blackness was absolute. Merlin tried to see through it to distinguish where he was and what was making that unusual busing noise he kept hearing. But it was impossible to see beyond the black fog before his eyes, it took him a few minutes to realize his eyes were actually closed. He tried to move or call out but he seemed to have no control over his body. As his senses slowly returned, Merlin was aware of the hard ground under his back and a pair of hands pressing at his ribs and shaking him strongly. He wanted to protest but was still unable to control his body. The buzzing sound intensified and suddenly Merlin began to realize it was a voice.

"Merlin, damn it, come round!"

Arthur. Merlin tried again vainly to awake but there was no change.

" Merlin, don't you dare do this to me! You cannot die on me, do you hear me? I never said you could die! Wake up and breathe you idiot!"

Breathe? Merlin felt a shock pass through him as everything slowly fell into place. Was he not breathing? He thought he had been. He forced himself to breathe in once. It was enough.

The one breath sent him into a coughing fit which forced his eyes open and quite suddenly he found himself lying on his back, his throat burning and his lips aching, looking up at the forest canopy over head.

Then he promptly rolled over and was sick all over Arthur's cape where he knelt beside him.

"Sorry…"

He felt Arthur lifting his head, his voice was manic in its relief. " Sorry..Sorry?" Arthur's laugh was short and hysterical, " Why do you insist on aging me prematurely Merlin?"

Merlin closed his eyes. " Sorry.." he croaked again. He felt like one of those blasted ravens, too dumb to speak in full sentences. Arthur turned his face toward him.

"Merlin, what in God's name happened?"

" I…I don't know. The last thing I remember is the birds."

Arthur's eyebrow shot up. "The birds?"

" The Ravens. There were dozens of them didn't you see them?"

"No Merlin…" Arthur's tone was patronizing.

"They attacked me! They were all over me and..and you think I've lost my mind. Great."

Arthur sighed helping him to his feet, " Merlin, you've been through hell. No one can blame you your little..Hallucinations."

Merlin frowned, then he spoke again. " You saved my life."

"Again."

Merlin smiled, " I am sorry I scared you."

Arthur took a deep breath, " Never do that again and we'll call it even, allright?"

"Fair enough."

Back at camp Merlin collapsed onto his sleeping roll. The shivering was worse than ever and his lungs burned painfully. He felt a wool blanket being draped over him.

"Just let me rest…only need a moment."

"Sleep Merlin."

The last thought Merlin had before he succumbed was that Arthur sounded more tired than he felt.

When Merlin awoke it was night. A fire crackled nearby and through its glow Merlin could make out Arthur sharpening his sword somberly.

Merlin moved to rise and instantly Arthur was beside him.

" Easy..not too fast."

Merlin sat up feeling the world tilt slightly.

" How long was I asleep?"

"Only a few hours…here drink this."

Arthur handed him a water skin and he drank greatfully.

" Thank you. I wish you didn't have to be involved in all this Arthur."

"No worries, I'm sure Gaius will fix you up as soon as we get back."

Merlin felt a fist clench in his gut. " Get back?"

" We're going back to Camelot first thing tomorrow."

Merlin felt the panic fill him. " Arthur, we can't…"

" Gaius can find his own rocks. Merlin, your health is more important."

" Arthur, I've told you I am…"

Arthur's eyes flashed. " You are not FINE Merlin! You're white as a ghost, you can't even argue without trembling and after what happened today.."

Merlin searched his mind grasping at straws.

"Arthur, today was an exception..it was.."

"If you say nothing I will kill you myself! I was there Merlin, I found you! You were blue Merlin, blue! It's a miracle your still alive."

"Arthur, we cannot go back!"

" We are going back, Merlin and that's the end of it. It's for the best."

Merlin took his arm, " Arthur, listen to me, please."

Arthur's tone was firm, his prince tone. The sort of tone he used when he was letting people know he meant what he said. "I feel for that family too Merlin. But risking one life to save another, it's just not done. You don't understand…"

Merlin threw up his hands, frustration bursting from his lips. " YOU don't understand you arse! There is no family, it's me that's dying! Me!"

Merlin saw the color drain from Arthur's face and he immediately regretted his hastyness. He bowed his head. Arthur fixed his eyes on him. " What are you talking about?"

Merlin rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath. " The witch, the one that trapped me in that cave. She cursed me. That's why I was so ill, Gaius' friend saved my life but he could only hold off the curse for four days. That was two days ago, I need to get to that cave before the fourth it's the only way to break the curse."

Arthur's voice sounded as though he was dying of thirst, " So.." he said clearing his throat, " What happens if you don't break the curse?"

Merlin closed his eyes a moment, there was no way to soften this blow.

"I die." He said simply. Arthur lept up his hands in the air.

"Oh, is that all! Merlin, why in God's name didn't you tell me?"

Merlin sagged guiltily. " I wanted to. But, I didn't want you to panic."

" Panic? I do not…I do not panic, Merlin! I'm a knight, knights do not panic!"

" Well, you're doing it now wouldn't you say?"

Arthur took a deep breath and closed his eyes, when he opened them again he seemed calmer, though his voice still held the faintest hint of a tremble. " All right, I'm calm…see? I'm calm…any other surprises you'd like to spring on me?"

" That was kind of my best one."

Arthur sat down on the log his face in his hands. When he raised his head his face was once again stoic and accepting. " So, this.." Arthur indicated Merlin with a vague wave of his hand, " It's going to get worse?"

"Until the curse is broken. I'm afraid so."

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose closing his eyes again for a moment. Then he straightened himself. " Good, that's easy then. We just get you to that cave, you break the curse and everythings put right. I've solved riddles harder then this."

Merlin gave a crooked smile, " I wish it were that easy."

" Isn't it."

" Arthur, it's still two days ride from here. If I make it that far…"

"Which you will."

"She's going to try to stop me Arthur, she wants me to fail."

Arthur's gaze grew determined, the eyes of a soldier. " Then we fight her."

Merlin's voice was a groan. " Arthur, odds are I won't be in any shape to fight anyone."

"That's why I'm here."

Merlin sighed, " Don't be a hero Arthur."

"Too late." Arthur gave a side ways smile

Merlin rolled his eyes, then lay back down wrapping the blanket around his shivering frame. " Why is it so cold tonight?"

Arthur gave him a puzzled look, " Merlin, it's warm tonight." Suddenly Arthur moved toward him. Merlin sat up.

"What are you doing? Get off! Arthur don…"

But it was too late, Arthur layed his hand on Merlin's forehead like a mother taking her child's temperature.

" God in heaven, your freezing!"

Merlin rubbed at his forehead. " I could have told you that! Ask next time will you?"

Merlin could feel his teeth chattering, he began to wonder if Arthur wasn't the one that was delusional. It certainly didn't feel very warm. Suddenly Arthur turned away and when he turned back he layed his blanket over Merlin who protested.

" Arthur, you don't have to.."

"Shut up , Merlin. Get some sleep we have a lot ahead of us tomorrow."

Merlin turned onto his back. He heard Arthur lay down a few feet beside him. Merlin stared up at the dark night sky.

"No moon, no stars. I've never seen such an empty sky."

Arthur yawned, " It's not empty, just covered. The light will come back we just have to wait it out."

Merlin turned over onto his side, his eyes staring into the darkness outside the camp fire. Suddenly he felt afraid.

"Arthur?"

"Merlin?"

" Do you ever think about what happens after we die?"

Silence. Arthur was as still as a stone. When he spoke again his irritation was plane.

" Perfect…thank you very much, Merlin. Now I couldn't sleep if I wanted to."

" Sorry."

"I'm beginning to think that's the only song you know. Look, there's no sense wondering as we'll never know the answer. We'll all find out soon enough anyway."

" You're right, I suppose. Good night Arthur."

" Right…"

Silence fell, Merlin willed his eyes to close but they would not. His body, weak as it was refused sleep. After a time Arthur spoke again.

"Still awake Merlin?"

"Yes."

"Go to sleep."

"I can't."

Arthur's tone was irritated, " Why in god's name not?"

Merlin sighed, " Nothing…just..go to sleep."

Merlin heard Arthur turn towards him, " Merlin, what's wrong?"

" Nothing…just let it alone, all right?"

Merlin could practically hear Arthur's grin.

"You're embarrassed…are you afraid of the dark?"

Merlin flipped over towards him, " It isn't funny! You don't know what it's like! Not being sure if you're going to be here the next morning or the next one after that! I don't want to die Arthur, all right? I don't want to close my eyes because I'm afraid I won't open them again. Is that enough of a reason for you?"

Arthur's face became serious. "Merlin.."

" Look, I don't want to talk just forget it."

"Merlin…I understand."

Merlin looked at him. What was he talking about?

" I may not have been in your particular situation but I know what it feels like to be afraid to die. When I was bitten by the questing beast, you all probably thought I wasn't feeling anything. But I was, it hurt…a lot and I was terrified."

"Arthur, don't…"

Arthur held up his hand, "No, let me finish. I was , thank god, unconscious most of the time. But when I was aware I would fight sleep until I couldn't any more. Do you know what helped me?"

Merlin shook his head. "Knowing you were out there, somewhere, fighting to keep me alive. I thought to myself, 'Merlin won't let me die. I can trust Merlin.' Arthur laughed, "You can trust me Merlin." He said looking directly into Merlin's eyes, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Merlin forced himself to smile, " I know. Thank you Arthur."

"Feel better?"

Merlin nodded.

"Good, now go to sleep."

Merlin smiled watching Arthur turn away from him with exaggerated pride. "You're a good friend Arthur." He whispered, " Even if you don't know it yet."

Then he closed his eyes.


	6. The Up Hill Road

"Merlin!"

Merlin awoke to a hand whacking him firmly across the face. He sat up and returned the favor before his head cleared fully. Once it did he saw Arthur standing above him rubbing his cheek and cursing and was immediately sorry.

"Arthur? What are you doing hitting me!"

Arthur pried his teeth apart letting his irritation drain harmlessly into the air around him. " I thought you were dead. Obviously I was wrong. You are the soundest sleeper I have ever met Merlin."

"Look, check a pulse next time won't you? I don't want to wake up six feet underground thanks to you."

Arthur looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. "If your this annoying on the other side Merlin, I don't think you have anything to worry about…they're going to send you back."

"At least they'd let me in. Good luck with that."

Merlin rose shakily. Arthur turned anxious eyes to him, but his tone was falsely confident.

"You're not going to fall off your horse are you? I'd hate to waste time going back to pick you up."

Merlin smiled tightly shaking his head and tottering towards his horse. Arthur hovered a short distance behind. "Really, Merlin are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yeah..absolutely…I got this." Merlin was standing beside his horse staring at the saddle like he was waiting for a miracle. Arthur took his horse's reins and called to him. " Oh Merlin, thought you ought to know. You're supposed to get ON the horse."

Merlin took a deep breath, " Just give me a minute ok…" he put his foot in the stirrup and went to lift himself up. Nothing happened his arms and legs felt like rubber, loose and awkward. He heard Arthur sigh.

" Let me help you."

"No! No, thank you…really I can do this."

Merlin finally managed to drag himself into the saddle, he smiled. "There, see, I told you."

Arthur gave Merlin a little salute from the back of his horse. " I have to hand it to you Merlin. You are by far the most stubborn mule of a person I have ever met."

" Likewise" said Merlin simply, thankfully Arthur did not seem to hear the insult. " Let's go then." Said Merlin. But Arthur held up his hand, " Wait, just a minute. I'm leading."

Great. Thought Merlin, things are back to normal. " Yes, my prince." He said simply.

"No, it isn't like that. Well, it is, but…anyway, if that hag that started all this is going to try to stop you she'll have to get by me first."

Oh just wonderful.

" Arthur, you shouldn't…"

" But I am...I said I'd protect you and I will."

Merlin rolled his eyes. He hated irony. " Suit yourself." He said simply.

"Once again, You're welcome Merlin."

As they set off Merlin thought of Nimue's smirking mouth and her absinthe and sugar voice as she gloated over his suffering. At that moment he thought he could not hate her more, but now he knew he could. She could do what she wished to him, but if she ever touched Arthur he knew he'd make sure that pretty little grin was erased from her face..permanently.

" Follow me.."

Merlin lept nearly out of his saddle he looked up wide eyed to see Arthur looking impatient.

" What did you say?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, " Come on, what are you waiting for? Follow me!"

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. Nice choice of words Arthur, thank you so.

Merlin picked up his speed to close the gap between him and Arthur and together they traveled on.

The road was like an endless ribbon stretching out to meet the horizon, the sun blazed down upon them like an iron from a black smith's forge. After only twenty minutes Merlin had begun to realize the effects of the previous night in earnest.

The world around him seemed blurry somehow , out of balance. His body ached and though he managed to control it enough to hide it he trembled both outside and in. He knew his energy was slowly fading, he only hoped they could travel far enough before night came with its horrors to torment him. He shifted in his saddle wiping a hand over his brow and glowering up at the sun. This did not escape Arthur's attention.

" All right there Merlin?"

" Define all right, it's hot as blazes."

Arthur smiled, " I've noticed, try wearing Armor."

"No thank you, I have enough problems."

Merlin settled into his saddle, his horse took advantage of this moment to start making faces at Arthur's horse. Merlin turned the bridal and grumbled, " Oh stop." Arthur grinned and turned his horse back to the road. " Don't be too hard on him Merlin, he's your horse. It's only natural he wants to pester mine."

Merlin grinned in spite of himself . They rode on in silence, moving too fast for speech most of the time the world whirling past. The sun had begun to sink when the whirling became too much for Merlin and he halted his horse. To his horror, the whirling did not stop. " Um…Arthur…" he began endeavoring to sound calm. The last thing he saw was Arthur turning back to face him, then he felt himself falling. He heard Arthur speak his name sharply, mailed arms caught him mid fall and the world went dark. Merlin's last conscious thought was not a noble one. " Damn." He thought, " Simply Damn."

Merlin awoke in an all too familiar position. He was lying on the ground again, a fire crackled beside him as before and it was night as he'd expected. He shook his head. Was every day going to end like this? Then he realized if they didn't make better time there was only two more days to worry about. The thought made him sick. As he lifted his head he immediately knew things were bad. His head throbbed painfully and the world around him hadn't grown any clearer. As he lay back down he gave a little groan more from frustration then pain.

" Easy, Merlin."

Arthur seemed to appear out of the shadows beside him, Merlin blinked up at him trying to focus his vision. " We..have to stop meeting like this." He managed.

Arthur laughed shaking his head. "I thought we agreed this wouldn't happen again."

Merlin sighed, " I didn't turn blue this time did I?"

"No, you were very polite about the whole thing. You fell right into my arms, I didn't even have to pick you up."

Merlin couldn't even smile, his head was a mass of pain and he realized suddenly his skin felt like it was on fire. Something wet that smelled like wet dog slapped onto Merlin's forehead, that rallied him. Super. Now he was in pain and suffocating.

"Ugh..Arthur!"

"Oh stop being an ingrate, it's for your fever. Herbs Gaius used on me when I was ill, I never travel with out them now..they help pain too."

"Well they smell like feet."

" That makes sense..I used my sock for the poultice."

Merlin wanted so badly to fling that sock to next week but he restrained himself, after all Arthur was trying to help and the herbs were starting to make him feel rather nice.

" So, here we are again…" said Merlin looking up at the sky blearily, the sky was dark again and no moon showed. " What now?"

"Second verse, same as the first. Keep going on until we finish the song."

" What the hell is that?"

" Just an old rhyme Morganna used to use when she was teaching me things when we were younger."

" It's ridiculous."

Arthur looked at him out of the side of his eyes. " Not so much..it means never give up."

Merlin smiled, then turned back to the sky. " You know Arthur, you're not so much of an arse as you make yourself appear."

" Don't let the secret out whatever you do."

Merlin closed his eyes, a pleasant forgetfulness was stealing over him. He was just drifting off when he heard Arthur collapse a ways away, to his surprise he felt Arthur's hand brush his own. This show of closeness was so unusual for Arthur Merlin thought it must have been a mistake, he edged away to give more room but the hand followed until it was once again just resting against his own. Then Merlin realized what was going on, he'd done the same thing many times in many different situations. Affection cannot always be shown directly, so there are codes and gestures like a language of their own that pass between friends. Merlin had wanted to know if anything happened to Arthur, to know he was there and safe had meant everything to him. Now there was Arthur in all his tough stoicism doing the same thing. Merlin realized with a pang that Arthur wanted to make sure he was there, as though a physical anchor would keep his friend from leaving him. Wordlessly, Merlin yawned and stretched and let his arm fall so his hand fell against Arthurs. So, comforting each other they both slept.

The sky was still dark when the pain woke him. His head was wreathed with it, the white heat of it exploding behind his blurry eyes. He gasped and tried to rise but the pain made it impossible in misery he writhed trying not to call out. Better Arthur shouldn't know, what could he do? This was his fight, now. Suddenly he heard a voice from close beside him.

"Merlin."

His eyes flashed open and there, kneeling over him was Nimue herself. As Merlin lay frozen in horror she lifted her hand and reached toward his face.

"Merlin? What's wrong?"

Merlin flinched away from her, cringing in terror. " You get away from me! Don't touch me!"

Nimue's eyes seemed puzzled, her face seemed different somehow Merlin couldn't place it. " Merlin, don't you know me?"

" I know you…oh I know you…You did this to me! You took what you wanted and you left me for dead!"

" Merlin..you don't know what you're saying. Look at me! It's me…I would never…"

Merlin rose up in rage, " Stop lying! That's all you do! You're not going to win this time…"

" Merlin, you're not yourself…stop…"

" I will not stop! " suddenly Merlin called out, " Arthur!" but as he turned he saw the empty bed roll beside him. He began to look around frantically but all he saw was shadow. Nimue took his shoulders.

"Merlin, look at me…I'm here…"

" What have you done with him? If you've hurt Arthur I swear…" Merlin fought against Nimue's restraining arms.

"Merlin…you're not thinking clearly…listen to me…"

"I'm done listening! " Merlin reached out and took Nimue's neck in his hands he saw her eyes grow wide with fear and surprise as his fists tightened over the small neck. He saw her gasp and fight. " Tell me what you've done or I'll end this right here!"

"Merlin…" Nimue rasped, her eyes wide with fright, " Merlin..let me go…you don't want to do this…"

Merlin squeezed tighter, " Oh but I do…tell me!"

The color was deepening in Nimue's face. She clawed at his hands. " For the love of God Merlin, it's me! You're making a big mistake!"

Merlin squeezed on, suddenly he realized. She had said God…for the love of God, not for the love of the Gods but one God. Nimue would not have said that. He faltered for a moment .The voice went on. " Merlin…please…it's me. It's me Merlin…God in heaven, come back to yourself!"

In a flash Merlin came to himself it seemed a veil had been lifted and suddenly Nimue's shape faded and in its place was Arthur. Merlin dropped his hands instantly . " Arthur…" Arthur fell back gasping, rubbing at his neck. Merlin collapsed back unable to go to his friends aid. A moment later Arthur was kneeling over him, Merlin felt his whole body trembling like a child after a nightmare. " Oh Arthur…I'm sorry…I never…"

Arthur placed another cold rag on his forehead. " Don't, I understand…you weren't yourself…God, your burning…" Arthur's hands shook as he soaked the rag again and wiped it over Merlin's forehead, his face was blank his eyes alone showing the panic within. Merlin spoke again. " I thought you were her…Oh when I think of what I almost did." Merlin winced and then cried out as the pain in his head flared. Arthur put a hand on his shoulder, " Don't, Merlin…I'm fine…everything's going to be fine. Just lie still."

Merlin obeyed out of necessity and slowly he felt the pain subsiding. " Is it almost dawn?" he whispered his eyes closing.

" Almost…hang on."

Slowly the pain began to bleed out of him, slowly bit by bit until at last he surrendered to unconsciousness.


	7. Stormy Weather

The next morning, Merlin opened his eyes to find Arthur glaring up at the sky. The sky had become a stormy, moody, grey. Freckled with larger dark splotches, Merlin groaned inwardly and forced himself upward until he was sitting up.

" Storm coming?"

Arthur turned to him. "It looks like it. Honestly, it goes from bad to worse."

"You haven't seen anything yet." Merlin stared gloomily at his legs which felt like logs of wood. " This isn't going to be easy Arthur. Remember what I said? She knows what we're doing. She wants us to fail."

Arthur turned back to his saddle bag which he was buckling. "It's just weather Merlin, that's all."

"If you say so." Merlin managed to convince his legs to lift his body, then he fell back down again. Before he could stand, Arthur looked over. " I'm worried for you Merlin."

Merlin was shocked. Did Arthur just express his feelings directly? Merlin got to his feet and spoke somberly. "You should be. I'm worried for myself, but more for you."

"Why? It's you she's after."

Merlin sighed, " She's not too happy with you either."

Arthur actually looked offended, " Why? What did I do?"

Merlin decided to put it simply. An explanation of the whole rigmarole surrounding Nimue and the Pendragon blood line would not only waste another day, but would also really tick off a certain king. No one wanted that.

"You're helping me."

Arthur was buckling his saddle bag onto his horse that looked as restless as Merlin felt. Both horses and Wizards hate storms, they sense the danger in them. " Well, if she thinks she's going to stop either of us she's a bloody stupid witch."

The words came out of Merlin's mouth before he meant them to. " She may be right."

Arthur looked at him startled, " What?"

"What if she's right Arthur? What if we were doomed to fail right from the start, what if…I'm going to die no matter what."

Arthur was looking at him, his blue eyes puzzled. Merlin leaned against his horse feeling guilty, but this thought had been weighing on him for some time. Arthur stood frozen as though the words had struck him dumb, finally he spoke.

"Merlin, why are you talking like this?"

" I don't know. After last night…Arthur I can't take much more of this."

Arthur's face was pale and his blue eyes were deep pools of anxiety. When he spoke his voice was stern.

" Merlin, listen to me. We can't lose hope, imagine where we'd be if you you'd given up on me all those times."

" Every quest isn't successful Arthur."

" Stop it!" Arthur reached out and grabbed his shoulder roughly, " You can't talk like this, not you Merlin. You're letting that witch get to you and I'm telling you to stop, stop it now!"

Merlin raised his head and tried to smile. He felt guilt over his own feelings and their effect on Arthur. Arthur was risking his life for him, the least he could do was try. He felt himself rally a bit.

"I'm sorry…I don't know what came over me. We should go." Merlin turned back to his horse.

Arthur's eyes burned into his back. When he spoke his voice was calmer. "That's better. Merlin I swear if you give up on me I will flatten you."

"I won't, I promise. Come on."

Merlin gathered his reins and felt the world begin to reel. "Oh no," he thought, " Please, no. At least let me keep my dignity." But as he raised his foot to put it in the stirrup he suddenly felt his knees buckle and he was on the ground. Sheer embarrassment allowed him to bounce to his feet where he leaned against the horse in misery.

At that moment Arthur walked up behind him and grabbed him in a very inappropriate spot and lifted him onto the horse . Merlin fell forward onto the horse's neck but quickly straightened, shifting his sore back side.

" Arthur, buy we dinner next time won't you?"

Arthur sighed, " Sorry to be so familiar, but necessity compelled me."

Merlin sighed, " Thank you. "

Arthur looked up at him. " Are you sure you can ride?" Merlin groaned, " I have no other choice." He gathered his reins and straightened up. " Let's go before I fall off again."

The storm held off longer than expected. They had just entered a short stand of trees when the first of the rain began to fall. Arthur cursed and Merlin looked up ruefully.

" Well, at least the trees will protect us."

At that moment a vivid flash of lightning lit up the sky, both Arthur and Merlin watched it go bye in awe. Arthur bowed his head and took a deep breath. " Ok..that's just fine…let's go Merlin." Merlin turned his horse but at that moment a clap of thunder resounded and both of their horses took fright and took off in opposite directions. When Merlin had gotten his horse under control he was several feet off the path. He also realized he could not see Arthur. He called to him and there was no reply, he began to pick his way back toward the road calling to Arthur as he went. Then suddenly he heard Arthur's voice off in the distance. He couldn't distinguish what he was saying.

"Arthur? I'm over here!"

The voice became louder but still seemed far away.

"Merlin! I'm over here, help me!"

Merlin threw himself off of his horse and ran toward Arthur's voice. " Where are you?" he called.

"Here! Hurry! I need you!"

Now the voice seemed to be coming from another direction, puzzled Merlin ran towards it his heart pounding. " Arthur! I'm coming! Hold on!" The voice came from yet another direction.

" Merlin? Merlin, Please! Where are you?"

"Where are YOU?" screamed Merlin, " Arthur, stand still! I can't find you! Stay where you are!"

There was silence then. " Arthur?" Merlin cried out, " ARTHUR!" But there was nothing but silence, Merlin ran toward where he'd last heard the voice. Suddenly he tripped over a half hidden log. When he opened his eyes he came face to face with Arthur's pale face, his blue eyes wide and empty. Merlin lept to his feet. He saw Arthurs crumpled body lying on the ground a tree branch over his chest. Merlin managed to pull the branch aside, Arthur did not move. Nor did he respond to Merlin's desperate cries. Though he knew what he would find Merlin leaned down putting his ear to his friends chest. Only silence met his ears.

Merlin felt his own heart grow silent for a moment, then the trembling started. This couldn't be real..it had to be a dream…he couldn't possibly have failed Arthur. Yet the evidence stood before him. Merlin bent over Arthur's still face and staring eyes and he felt a panic filling him. NO. he thought. No..it isn't true…it can't be..no, no, no. " NO!" he cried making the forest glade ring with his cry. Then he sprung to his feet and began to run

He ran with no regard to where he was going or what he would do once he got there. The trees whipped by him, branches scratched his face and roots ripped at his ankles he ran on. He had to escape this horror, this nightmare. But he couldn't seem to run fast enough.

Suddenly he turned a corner in the path and ran directly into something solid. Arms closed around him and as he fought to be free he heard a familiar voice speak to him.

"Merlin? Merlin what's wrong?"

Merlin was gasping, sweat stood out on his forehead and he could feel the wild beating of his heart. He looked up and found himself staring into Arthur's wide blue eyes.

"Arthur? But..how…how are you not dead?"

Arthur looked at him puzzled. " Dead? Of course I'm not dead, why would I be dead? Merlin what happened?"

Merlin managed to tell the story and Arthur's face turned hard. " It must have been that witch…she's clever…not too clever to escape the executioner though.

Merlin felt himself sag, " Oh..my..Gods. Arthur…you don't know..I.." Merlin could feel himself swaying, his breathing still had not slowed down. His knees buckled and he fell to the ground. Arthur knelt beside him.

" Merlin, calm down. It wasn't real..I'm right here, I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about."

Merlin could hardly speak, " Nothing..to..worry about? Arthur…I can't…If anything ever…" Merlin had to stop he was wheezing in earnest now. He felt Arthur's hand on his shoulder.

"Merlin..Merlin listen to me. Calm down…don't do this to me, not again."

Merlin made an effort to slow his breathing, finally it returned to normal but most of his energy had been spent.

" Where's my horse?"

" Tied to a tree with my horse…we should shoot them both."

Merlin gave a sideways smile and rose with Arthur's help. " Let's get out of here."

"You can't be serious? Look at you! You can't ride, now."

" I am not camping here. I don't care how bad I feel."

" Fine…but were camping soon."

When they had returned to the horses, the storm had begun. Rain pelted them in sheets soaking them. The horses flattened their ears and stamped their feet against the rain as they road. Merlin could feel the cold damp penetrating his body. His entire body seemed to be shivering and soon he grew so weak he could hardly hold the reins.

Merlin was relieved when Arthur suggested they camp for the night and even more relieved when they found a small cave to take shelter in. Both suggestions he went along with mutely, this was not like him and Arthur knew it. As they slid from their horses and Arthur helped Merlin into the cave where they both huddled for warmth, Arthur looked to his friend. " It's nice to have some good luck for a change isn't it?" Merlin smiled but said nothing. Arthur looked quizzically at his shivering friend and Merlin thought vainly of something encouraging to say. In the end he managed, " At least it's dry here." Arthur seemed relieved at this and smiled. " I wish we could build a fire, it's cold as a tomb in here." Merlin in spite of his weakness felt very uncomfortable memories stirring as he sat looking at the stone walls. He felt a vague uneasiness fill him. " It had to be a cave." Arthur put a hand on his shoulder. " Don't worry Merlin, this one's harmless."

Merlin sank back into his sodden cloak trembling miserably. The new religion spoke of hell as a pit full of fire, Merlin had never bought it. Hell must be cold, cold and empty, for to be alone was the worst torture. Instinctively he took hold of Arthur's cape as another spasm of fear shook him, he felt his knees draw up to his chest. Arthur moved a bit closer to him, " There's no shame in being afraid Merlin." Merlin looked at him out of the corner of his eye, " I can't forget what it was like in there. This is too close." Merlin saw Arthur's face grow stern with worry. " What can I do?"

Merlin looked up then, meeting Arthur's eyes. "You're doing it. I couldn't have gotten this far without you."

Merlin lay his head back a deep weariness threatening to overcome him. It would seem Arthur was having some bad memories of his own resurrected. Merlin felt him shove his shoulder.

Merlin opened his eyes, " I'm never going to be able to sleep in front of you again am I?"

Arthur looked away embarrassed, " I guess you're not the only one that's afraid."

Merlin smiled, " I always knew you cared, Arthur." Then a spasm of coughing over came him, when he finally regained himself Arthur spoke nervously. " Well you were right…how could I not? You were so stubborn you wouldn't let me NOT like you." Merlin closed his eyes a moment and then opened them, " That's my job." Arthur grinned ruefully. Merlin coughed again, he could feel the dampness in his chest and he laughed internally at the Irony. Now even his body was in on it. Arthur spoke quietly. " Get some sleep Merlin." Merlin closed his eyes, " Yes, Sire." Within minutes he was asleep.

Merlin awoke in darkness, he could see nothing. Arthur's torch was nowhere to be seen. He shivered and reached over to find Arthur's cape. Nothing met his hands. He reached further, but only the coldness of damp rock met his hands. He felt his heart beat increase . " Arthur?" No reply came. Merlin was sitting up now his dark eyes large in their attempts at seeing through the darkness around him. " Arthur? Arthur, where are you? Arthur!"

There was no reply, outside the wind blew across the cave with a hiss that sounded almost like laughter. Merlin cried out one last time. "ARTHUR!"

" Merlin?"

Merlin blinked in surprise as Arthur's face illuminated by his torch came into view in the cave mouth. " Merlin, what's wrong?" Arthur threw the fire wood he'd been gathering and went to his friends side.

Merlin leaned back in relief, " Nothing…sorry…just a dream. Where did you go?"

" The storm let up, I thought I could find some fire wood…Merlin you look terrible, what..?" Arthur stopped suddenly Merlin saw something cross his face as though he'd figured out what Merlin had on his mind.

" You thought I left you, didn't you?"

"No! Of course not! Well, not really…I…I didn't know what to think."

Arthur sighed, " How many different ways can I explain it Merlin? I..am..not..going..any…where. You have nothing to be afraid of."

Merlin bowed his head, "I feel like such a girl, but it's different when you feel so…helpless. I hate it."

Arthur smiled, " Believe me, you're not helpless Merlin. You're tough as nails. We'll get through this."

Merlin smiled, " Just…don't do that again, all right?"

" All right." Said Arthur, he set about building a fire but the wood was too wet to light. He cursed.

"Leave it Arthur." Said Merlin,

"We're going to freeze to death."

"We've survived this long." Merlin fell silent his eyes closing, he opened them again fighting the urge to sleep.

"Still on about me leaving?" asked Arthur.

"No!" said Merlin making a parody of an offended face, he was a lousy liar and he knew it. Sheepishly he hung his head. " Well, yeeeah. Maybe." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"All right! That's it!"

There was a slight pause in which Merlin closed his eyes, then something hard hit him off the head. He opened his eyes and found Arthur's shoe in his lap.

"Ugh! First your sock, now this? Are you trying to kill me?"

" Oh shut up Merlin! I can explain…there's a story behind this."

Merlin held up the dirty shoe, " It's pretty self explanatory actually. "

Arthur glared at him and began.

"When I was a boy, I was afraid to sleep. I was afraid that my father would be called to battle in the night and I would wake and he'd be gone. So my father used to let me sleep with one of his gauntlets he wore to battle. That way I knew as long as I had that gauntlet he wouldn't leave me, because a knight wouldn't leave without all his armor."

Merlin smiled, " This isn't a gauntlet."

"Well I'm not going anywhere without my shoe am I?"

Oddly enough Merlin did feel comforted by this token, or maybe it was just the glimpse Arthur had given him of his humanity. It was certainly a side Arthur would never let him see and certainly not Uther. He lay back holding the shoe, he coughed deeply feeling his chest rattle and wheeze. Just before he fell asleep again he felt something draped over him. As he touched it he felt the heavy wool and embroidery. Arthur's cape. He didn't even have time to protest before he was dreaming heavily.


	8. Freya

When Merlin opened his eyes again the sun was shining through the cave mouth. Outside he could hear Arthur getting things ready for their departure. Suddenly he heard a shrill neigh followed by a curse from Arthur and Arthur walked into view holding his shoulder.

"Leave my horse alone, Arthur. I keep telling you, he doesn't like you."

Arthur glared at him, " Stupid, ungrateful, beast. He was mine before he was yours, who does he think fed him all those years?"

" He probably heard what you said about him." Merlin dragged himself to his feet and out of the cave where he had to lean as a spasm of coughing racked him. When he'd recovered he saw the young horse raise his skinny head and whinny in greeting. Merlin grinned at Arthur. Arthur made a much less kind gesture and walked over to his horse. Merlin managed to get into the saddle this time, but it took him time before he could ride out. When they finally set out, Merlin was glad his horse was so attached to Arthur's he followed willingly leaving Merlin with little to do except hold on. Though even that felt like a herculean task.

" Today's the day Merlin! Today's the day we end all this nonsense!" said Arthur cheerfully.

" Yeah…after today it will all be over." Merlin sighed. One way or the other. He hadn't dared try to prepare Arthur for the possibility that he might be going home alone. Mostly because he was too weak to stand being hit off the head. Arthur simply would not hear of anything other than complete victory. Merlin loved him for it…but he was afraid too.

They'd ridden for a time when Merlin decided the time had come. He rode up beside Arthur.

"Um..Arthur?"

Arthur turned in his saddle as though to catch him. Merlin put up his hand. " No wait! It's not like that!"

Arthur looked releaved, "What is it then?"

"There's something we need to talk about."

" We've talked about it."

" Not enough. Arthur, you have to understand some things. I know it's difficult, but you're a knight for God's sake, you were born to be brave. I need to know you'll be there for me."

Arthur looked almost hurt, " Merlin how can you even question that? After all we've been through all ready? Of course…"

" Even if I die."

Arthur's face never looked more childlike and vulnerable than it did at that moment. Then a swallow, a shiver and the guard went up again. "You're not going to die Merlin."

" I might. YES, Arthur I might. Now let me finish. If I..can't make it home. Can I count on you to bring me back? To take care of Gaius?"

Arthur looked like he wanted to scream, he ran a hand through his hair. " Of course Merlin. But…"

" Gaius will pretend he's all right, don't let him fool you. I know him…he tries to handle everything himself but he can't. "

Arthur coughed, " And..and What should I say to him? How do I explain that I failed you?"

Merlin looked at him, " Arthur it isn't like that…no matter what happens I couldn't have gotten this far without you. Don't blame yourself..there isn't any need."

"That's right!" Arthur's voice was sharp, " There isn't any need, not for any of this because everything's going to be allright."

Merlin smiled, " Yeah…I know it is." Then he added, " Just…don't be too hard on yourself."

Arthur brushed at his eyes. " Merlin, right now, I'm ready to kill you myself. Stop torturing me will you?" Then suddenly Arthur jerked his head up and his eyes lit up. "Look there!"

Merlin followed Arthur's jabbing finger and felt a small smile cross his own face. There before him was the blue of a lake and at its center sat the Isle of souls. Merlin sighed with relief. " How will we get across?"

" We'll think of something..you can swim can't you?"

"Not that well."

As Merlin looked out at the view before him a ripple suddenly went over his vision. He shook his head, somewhere nearby a Raven cried, then another. Merlin bowed his head.

"Merlin?"

"She's here, Arthur. I can sense her."

Arthur looked around a hand on his sword. " Where?"

"She wouldn't be stupid enough to show herself, not in her true form any way. Just stay close ."

" What if I see her?"

Merlin turned to him, the weariness all ready washing over him again. " Run. Run like you've never run before and don't look back."

"Merlin, knights don't…"

"Then run like you're not a knight. You don't stand a chance against her Arthur."

Arthur ran a hand over his face. " The things I do for you." And slowly they moved forward. A deep wood stood between them and the lake as they entered suddenly they were in shadow. The sound of birds and animals stopped and they were left in unearthly silence. They traveled quickly, constantly watching. But how can you watch for what can't be seen? A wind suddenly picked up, the trees rustled and shrieked. The horses pranced and flared their nostrils in terror, from somewhere far away Merlin heard a whisper like a voice chanting. He heard Arthur curse in fear, he opened his mouth to encourage him but the air was knocked out of his lungs as pain exploded across his chest . He fought for breath, then silently fell to the ground. He could not call out or move, the pain moved to his limbs and legs. He watched helplessly as Arthur moved on oblivious to what was taking place. As he struggled for air he heard a voice nearby, " Hush Merlin," it whispered in mocking sweetness, " Mustn't alarm Arthur must we…can't have him coming to save you. He'll just have to wait his turn." Merlin forced a deep breath into his lungs. " Leave him out of this!" Nothing but laughter. Merlin felt his head slam back as the pain increased. He closed his eyes. " I'm sorry, Arthur." He thought, " I'm sorry…Good bye."

It was then he felt arms lifting him. Arthur's voice was frantic in his ear, " Merlin? Merlin? Oh God in heaven, I'm so sorry! "

Merlin tried to speak, but his lips were trembling too hard to form the words. Arthur was beside himself. " Merlin, say something…please!..." Merlin took a deep breath, " Arthur…" That was all he could manage, he closed his eyes in frustration.

"Merlin, I'm here. I'm right here. I didn't know…I didn't see…what happened?"

Merlin took another deep breath, " Not your fault…magic."

Arthur's lips became a thin line. Through the pain Merlin reached out and took his shoulder. But his hand fell limp again. He tried to force himself up but the pain threw him back again. He cried out.

Arthur comforted him as best he could, then Merlin heard him draw his sword. Merlin opened his eyes and there was Arthur, sword drawn scanning around him. Then he looked upward. "You leave him alone! He's done nothing to you! Let him be!"

The wind blew again and Merlin cried out " Arthur no!"

"She can't hurt me Merlin…" said Arthur, " I'm not afraid of her. " The wind began to blow again and then a tremendous gust blew over them, Arthur fell to his knees shielding his face and then it was still again. Then Merlin felt the pain leave him, he fell back gasping his body burning inside. Arthur fell to his knees beside him with a clatter. Merlin turned to him. " I told you to run."

"I told you it would never happen."

"Thank you." Merlin could feel his eyes closing, the burning in his limbs made his stomach turn. " Arthur, I can't do this."

" Yes, you can…were almost there. It's just like the other times."

From somewhere far away Merlin felt himself shake his head. Arthur 's voice was commanding. " Merlin!" Merlin felt shame wash over him, shame and fear he was trapped. Trapped by his own body, he had let his guard down. He had let this happen. He felt tears on his cheeks and his humiliation was complete.

"Oh Merlin…" Arthur's voice was soft, Pitying. Then it changed to determined. " Come on."

Instantly Merlin felt himself being lifted, he groaned in protest, he felt himself being settled into a saddle. He opened his eyes and there was Arthur holding his horse's reigns with a solemn look on his face. " That's a bit better, just lie still. Let me do the work. I can manage for both of us."

"Arthur.."

"Shut it, Merlin…were going, now hold on."

Merlin closed his eyes with a shudder, he heard Arthur clattering onto his own horse then they were moving. Merlin clung to the horse's neck and prayed for a miracle. In the end that's exactly what he got.

Arthur could feel his heart pounding as he tied his horse's bridal to low tree branch. Tethered beside it, Merlin's horse nudged its master who lay too exhausted to respond across its neck. It nickered at Arthur as he approached and he gave it a distracted pat.

"Merlin?"

Merlin raised his head and looked at him blearily. "Where are we?" Arthur helped him to dismount as he spoke. " We're at the lake…not far now." Arthur settled Merlin against an old oak that grew beside the lake shore. " If only we could walk on water…" murmured Merlin. " Shut up, you." Said Arthur with a secret smile, he was glad to hear Merlin joking again. " I'll think of something."

Arthur peered out at the sapphire sheet of shining water that lay before him and a hopelessness filled him. He would never tell Merlin, but he had absolutely no idea how to get across the water. The thing that scared him most, is he was ninety-nine percent sure Merlin knew anyway. He turned back to Merlin and found him asleep again. The pain and stress of his torment was apparent on his pale face, even in his sleep he twitched and moaned as though fighting something unseen. Something Arthur could not help him fight.

Arthur watched as the first pink fingers of twilight began to touch the sky and frustration filled him. They were so close, close enough to see their goal and yet it was just out of reach. Arthur stabbed his sword into the sand and knelt beside it his face in his hands, the pink stain spread across the sky and Arthur lifted his head. " It's not right…" he whispered not sure of who he addressed, " Merlin doesn't deserve this..I should be able to save him. But I can't, so…look…I've never been good at this praying business but HELP ME please! Whoever you are, whatever you are, help me…help us!"

The sky was turning red now, behind him Arthur heard Merlin's mutterings becoming more intense. He looked out over the water again, pleadingly and suddenly a voice spoke in his ear.

"Arthur Pendragon…"

Arthur lept to his feet sword in hand, a woman stood beside him in a long white gown. She was small and slight and dark of skin and hair and eye. He realized she must be druid, but where had she come from…it was then he noticed that she was not touching the ground. The woman hovered above the water's surface just out of reach , a white light enveloped her like the depictions of angels Arthur had often seen on the castle chapel's walls. She was beautiful, he gasped not knowing whether to be afraid or to kneel in reverence. "Who are you?" he gasped.

"I am Freya, I am guardian of this place. Others know me as The Lady of the Lake. To Merlin I was simply Freya."

"You are a friend of Merlin's?"

The figures eyes were sad, " I was, once. Now I protect this place . I have waited many years to return Merlin's kindness to me…now that chance has come to me."

"Then you know why we've come?"

"I know most things when it comes to Merlin. The trees tell me and the rivers, I am their mother now."

Arthur didn't fully understand but it didn't matter. " Can you help us? There's so little time…"

The woman raised her hand and a delicate hand carved boat floated to the shore. " The boat knows it's way to the Isle, you need not fear I shall guide it."

Arthur smiled, " How can I ever repay you?"

"There is no need." The girl drew from the water beside her a glittering sword, she held it out to Arthur who took it in trembling hands, "Take this also, It is the sword Excalibur. I have kept it for you for many years…but you must promise to give it back when your quest is complete. The time has not yet come for you to take it for your own."

Arthur stared at the blade, " But what am I to do with it?"

"You will know it when the time comes."

Suddenly the spirit's eyes grew far away, it took Arthur a moment to realize she was staring at Merlin with a look of such longing she seemed almost human. " You must save him Arthur, he still has much to do in this life. As do you."

" I know…I promise you if it is in my power I will save him."

"It is in your power, if not in yours then it is in nobodies. You are his other half."

Arthur went to where Merlin lay and lifted him carrying him into the boat. The figure hovered by the boat, one glowing hand caressed Merlin's face and she bent her radiant face low and kissed him on his forehead. Then she straightened herself up, " Go and may the creator protect you both and remember to return my sword." With that the figure faded and was gone Arthur stared in disbelief and crossed himself. " God in heaven…" he whispered

Beside him Merlin stirred " Freya…" he muttered Arthur felt a thrill coarse through him at the name. He took off his cloak and covered Merlin who opened his eyes just as Arthur pushed the boat off.

"Where did you find the boat?"

" You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"You'd be surprised."

Arthur smiled, " I told you I'd find a way didn't I?"

Merlin's eyes rested on the sword. " Where did that come from?"

Arthur looked at the sword, " I'll explain later…but I think we have luck on our side Merlin, finally."

Merlin's eyes wandered to the reddening sky. " I hope your right, Arthur." He said, " Because we need it."


	9. Nevermore

Merlin groaned as the boat hit the shore hard jolting his aching body. Arthur pushed the boat further up onto the bank and turned to him.

" Well, come on." He reached over and hauled Merlin to his feet, " This is no time to take a nap."

Merlin leaned on him for a moment waiting for the world to stop spinning, then he looked at Arthur out of the corner of his eye. "I'm not so sure I can walk." A flicker of concern then Arthur was himself again. " Well, I could carry you…" Merlin was walking in a minute. " Oh Gods, no…I'd rather faint." Arthur grinned, really who needed magic when you had threats

They hadn't gone far when Arthur stopped staring at the wooded isle before him. " Oh Merlin…just curious…do you know where we're going?"

Merlin felt his face color slightly. " Not exactly." He said sheepishly. Arthur swore sticking his sword into the sandy ground. " Of COURSE you don't! God in heaven, can one more thing go wrong! Merlin, do you see the color of the sky? Do you see it?" Merlin looked up, the sky was a blood red,tinged with purple. Arthur threw his hands in the air, " We don't have time for guessing games."

Merlin furrowed his brow, " Wait…the song.."

"Damn the song…"

" No..listen…it says " We shall walk through an emerald door. We just need to find the door."

Arthur's look made Merlin realize how ridiculous his advice had sounded. " Not literally…it's a gateway maybe or ..or"

Merlin's eyes fluttered over the shore line. Suddenly he saw a distinct path heading into the wood, by its edges thick fronds of ferns and nettles formed a thick wall. Over head swayed low hanging branches of mistletoe hanging from the leafy trees. " Arthur…" he said " Look!" Arthur looked. Arthur was not impressed. Arthur was being thick.

"Oh that's very pretty Merlin. Now let's focus shall we?"

Merlin was too excited even to frown at him. " No! No, don't you see? That's the emerald door! That's the path to the cave!"

Arthur's eyes lit with comprehension. " Merlin, you're a genius! Let's go."

They hurried toward the narrow path and were soon well within the wood. Merlin could feel his energy fading with every step. It was like a weight in his heart which grew heavier and heavier as time wore on. Never the less hope kept him upright and Arthur kept him conscious.

"Merlin, Keep up!" Arthur slowed so Merlin could stagger to his side. Once again the shadow of worry but Arthur set his jaw and pulled Merlin along. " I'll be damned if I let you quit on me now, after all this. If you die now, Merlin, I'll be very put out."

"I love you too." Said Merlin, Arthur scowled.

They trudged on step after weary step, Merlin felt his legs becoming heavier and heavier and his vision darker and darker. Then suddenly he blinked and when he opened his eyes again he was staring up at Arthur who was holding a water bottle over him. " Stay..with..me." he said pointedly and hauled him to his feet. Merlin leaned on him heavily summoning all his strength, never the less he fell into Arthur's arms not long after limp as a dead trout.

" Blast! Sorry…sorry Arthur.." he struggled to get his feet under him but his legs wouldn't move, the next thing he knew he was on the ground trembling with weakness. Arthur knelt beside him.

"Merlin, it's allright."

"Arthur…I'm so sorry."

"Don't…don't be sorry…just hold on to me."

Arthur put his limp arm over his shoulder and strove to lift him to his feet. Merlin tried his hardest but his legs wouldn't move.

" Damn it, Merlin! Help me!"

"I can't, Arthur..I'm sorry."

Arthur lowered him to the ground again, running a hand through his hair Merlin saw him glance away for a moment struggling to know what to do.

" I'm in a world of trouble aren't I."

"Shut it, I'll think of something."

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment, he knew he couldn't stay conscious much longer. Even now the world had begun to tilt again. But stubbornly he fought it, who knew if he would even wake up again? But, there was so much to say.

" Arthur, you can't think of something because there's nothing left to do. You know you can't carry me to the cave, not the whole way. "

"Watch me…"

Arthur bent over him and Merlin grabbed his arms, " Arthur, stop helping and start listening…please. I don't have much time."

" What are you…"

" Arthur, stop being an idiot…you know what I mean…for once, just listen to me. Please? I'm not saying I'm going to die…just that I might."

Arthur looked at him his expressive blue eyes looking disbelieving, his mouth a grim line. " Make it quick."

Merlin took a deep breath, " I'm sorry this had to happen Arthur…I really am. I wish…I just wish I had more time to tell you.."

" Merlin you don't have to do this."

Merlin cut him off, " I've said this before but you're going to be a great king, your already a great leader. Just remember, great kings have great hearts…it is better to be loved then feared. Don't listen to your father. Listen to yourself. That's the only advice you'll ever need."

Merlin had to pause to gather himself his eyes flickered. Arthur shook him desperately. " Merlin?"

" Still here…just one last thing. Be careful will you? "

Arthur smiled, " I'm always careful."

"Merlin smiled back, he felt his eyes closing Arthur was gripping his shoulder. " Merlin? Merlin stay with me…"

" Oh and Arthur?"

"What is it?"

" Remember to think."

Merlin felt his eyes close, he felt himself slipping away from Arthur's arms. He thought of the words to the song. " Out of pain, out of time. Life fair well, world good bye…" It was almost peaceful, if this was death what was there to fear? Then he heard Arthur's voice.

" NO!"

Then he knew what they meant by the sting of death. "Dear Gods," thought Merlin, " Let him not lose his mind…he'll need it more than ever now." Then the darkness took him.

As Merlin's body turned limp in his arms Arthur thought he might have gone a little mad. He was aware of tears falling from his eyes, but it did not occur to him to wipe them away or try to restore his composure. He felt cold and hot at once as though he were feverish and the strangest shock went through his body. It amazed him how very broken he felt, how lost as though half of himself had been torn away. He hadn't realized the bond between him and Merlin before and now… Arthur brushed a hand over his face and reached over to touch Merlin's face and to his shock, Merlin twitched away. Arthur stared in disbelief. He muttered a prayer of thanks to whoever had been listening and dragged Merlin into his arms.

"Hold on, Merlin…I'll get you there." Arthur lifted Merlin onto his shoulder. He was surprised by how light he felt as though the new found hope had made him stronger. Then he hurried down the path toward the cave.

The green of the path blended into an emerald blur on the margin of Arthur's vision as he ran. His armor clattered and at his hip, Excalibur rang like a warning bell. He had no hope of being unnoticed, in fact he might as well play the trumpet while he was at it. But Arthur was not thinking about military tactics. The soul subject of his thoughts lay over his shoulder fighting for his life and Arthur refused to fail him.

Arthur's heart hammered and his chest burned, but he realized it was not from exertion so much as fear and frustration. Merlin and even his armor its self seemed lighter than before and he ran as though he wore only a tunic. Arthur could not explain this change, since he had tied the scabbard of Excalibur around his waist he had been filled with a strength he had never felt before. Whatever it was, he couldn't be more thankful for it.

At last the path came to an end in a small clearing . Arthur halted sharply and glanced anxiously around, to his relief his eyes fell on a stone crag in front of him and under a cleft of rock stood a great dark opening. He had found the crystal cave.

Arthur turned his eyes to heaven in relief and thanks, then fell to his knees not from weakness but from the sheer relief of it all. He lifted Merlin again and carried him to the cave mouth where he propped him against one of the stones looking at him anxiously.

Merlin's face was pale and ghostly in the dimming light and his lips were colored a deep blackberry color tinged with blue. As he came to himself Arthur could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he forced air in and out of his lungs. The sound of it made Arthur's insides tremble. He wiped his friends clammy face with his sleeve, turning his face toward the cave mouth.

"Do you see that, Merlin? We made it! Didn't I tell you we'd make it?"

Merlin gave a small, painful smile and nodded. When he spoke it was the whisper of an old man.

" I never doubted you."

'Oh no, of course not." Arthur roughed his hair. " Well, let's go …"

It was then the Raven flew by, then another and another soon several perched above the cave mouth. Arthur put his hand on Excalibur's hilt and frowned. " Go away…" he whispered. Merlin's eyes grew wide.

" What's wrong?"

Arthur glared at the Ravens then returned his eyes to his friend. " Nothing..just a bunch of birds. "

"Ravens…" Merlin closed his eyes shivering, " She's here."

" Well, she's too late…let's go." Arthur reached out to lift Merlin onto his back but at the same moment Merlin began to moan and then to Arthur's horror his head snapped back and he began convulsing. Arthur tried to lift him onto his shoulder but the thrashing prevented it, it was then he heard the voice.

" Ah, so the young Pendragon has a heart….I suppose there is no truth to the saying like father like son then."

Arthur turned and saw a woman dressed in a black cloak smiling a cold smile at him from under the hood that obscured her face.

" You leave us alone."

" Your orders mean nothing to me…I was there when you were born, I brought you into this world and I can take you out again if I chose."

Arthur felt his insides tremble. " Lies..your nothing but a sorceress."

Again the tight,mean smile. " You're right and I never lie. I shall leave you to your own conclusions." She looked over at Merlin and Arthur stood over him. The woman walked as close as he would let her and made a noise of false pity.

"Such a tragedy…such a waste…to die so young. He never should have crossed me."

" What's he done to you?" said Arthur his voice lethal, " He's nothing but a servant..he hasn't hurt anyone."

The woman laughed then, a high ringing laugh. " Only a servant…yes…of course .."

" Answer me! What has he done to you?"

"He's helping you!" The woman's eyes flashed amber and Arthur felt an impact like a rush of wind strike his breast plate . There was no pain, no mark, nothing. He saw the woman's eyes grow large, again the flash of amber light and this time the impact knocked him to his knees but no damage was done. He drew his sword.

"Go away…leave this place and never come back!"

The woman backed up at the sight of the sword and gave a low hiss. " Excalibur…that explains it. SHE'S protecting you, well she can't protect you all the time. Even SHE has her limits. " Then suddenly her lips melted into an ice cold smile.

"But…she can't protect him." She raised her hand and a ball of light flew toward Merlin. Without a thought Arthur put himself in its path using his sword like a shield. Excalibur rang with the impact but the magic seemed to be absorbed into it. The woman gave a silent sneer, then she smiled. " No matter…he'll be dead soon enough. Live Arthur Pendragon…live and know that you have failed. There is no greater torture."

Then in a burst of mist the woman was gone. Arthur sheathed his sword, trembling then turned to Merlin. Merlin lay still, his head tilted to one side and when Arthur went to lift him he jumped back. His friend was as cold as the rock around him and Arthur realized he was barely breathing.

Arthur took Merlin up and carried him through the cave door. To Arthur's surprise the cave was aglow with the same luminescent glow as in the other cave. The crystals here were larger, clearer and they seemed to give off a sympathetic hum that filled the air with a sensation of warmth. Ahead of him Arthur saw a shelf projecting from the crystals , a shelf that resembled a bed obviously carved for such a purpose. Arthur lay Merlin on this and immediately the crystals color changed to a pink hue pulsating like a living touch. Arthur knelt beside Merlin, watching. There was no change.

"Come on, Merlin…" Arthur whispered, " I did what you said…now it's your turn. Fight."

The glow continued but it did not grow and as Arthur watched in horror it quivered once, then went dark. At the same moment Merlin stiffened, took a deep gasping breath then lay still again.

"Merlin?" Arthur bent over his friend, but as he put his hand on his chest to wake him Arthur realized his friends heart was no longer beating. In disbelief Arthur moved his hand desperately over Merlin's chest searching for the heart beat that was not there. He shook his head, his hands trembling.

"No…no…Merlin, listen to me…you can't be dead. We made it in time, you can't die you idiot! Not now!"

Arthur began striking Merlin's cheeks with his hands though deep inside he knew it was useless. " Merlin, you come back right now, you hear me? This isn't supposed to happen…this isn't how it's supposed to end!"

Arthur wasn't sure what he meant by that, but all he knew was Merlin shouldn't be dead. It was just a feeling, like the universe couldn't be the same if this were allowed to happen. But slowly, he allowed himself to realize that though it shouldn't be….it was. It was all too much.

Arthur's head fell forward onto his friends still chest and he felt the hot, angry tears falling from his eyes. He'd failed, the witch had won. But she was wrong, failure was not the worst torture…to fail someone you love was far worse. The pain turned to rage within Arthur's heart, rage at fate that would allow things to end this way, after all they'd done. Where was their reward for doing good? What justice was there in this? Arthur felt himself leap to his feat.

"Why? Why? You better tell me the reason for this or I swear I'll never believe in you again!" he paused drawing deep , jagged breaths. " Merlin was my friend…you brought us together, why? If it was going to end like this, what was the point? What did I do wrong?"

Arthur gave a scream of anger, " This is what I think of your magic! TO HELL WITH YOU!" With that he drew Excalibur from it's scabbared and stabbed with all his might at the mound of crystal at Merlin's head. To his amazement, the blade did not shatter instead it slipped into the crystal as though it had been driven into flesh and there it stayed. As Arthur watched in shock the blade began to glow a deep pink, the same color as the crystal had before . Soon the glow had spread to the crystal beneath and then it seemed to flow over Merlin himself until he seemed made of crystal himself. Arthur watched breathlessly. " God in heaven…"

Then just as quickly as it had appeared the light extinguished. Arthur crossed himself, " I take it back." He breathed. Then as though hearing his words the crystal glowed once again and Arthur heard a deep gasp. He turned his head disbelievingly to Merlin just as his friend drew another deep breath and opened his eyes blinking in the bright light of the cave.

"Merlin…" Arthur hurried to his friends side. Merlin was stirring, blinking and testing his limbs like a new born baby just discovering the mysteries of its body. He turned dopely to Arthur. "Hey, dollop head…"

Arthur's eyes grew wide, " Hey? Don't you 'Hey' me you.." he grabbed Merlin into a crushing embrace which Merlin vainly tried to return.

" I thought you were dead…no you were dead."

"I'm going to be again unless you let up."

Arthur released his hold and stepped back, " How are you not dead?"

Merlin shrugged, " Just…lucky I guess."

"Lucky? Then I had no part in it?"

Merlin smiled, " I meant lucky to have you as a friend."

Arthur's mouth became a thin line, he nodded once and swallowed. "Let's get out of here."

Merlin rose and stood beside Arthur. "With Pleasure."

"


	10. The Crystal Shatters

When the shaking started, Merlin and Arthur didn't realize what was happening immediately. One minute they were congratulating each other and laughing and the next they were clinging to the crystal walls around them as ground beneath them heaved and rolled with a life all it's own.

" What's happening?" Arthur stood bracing himself against a crumbling wall of crystal as Merlin glanced around wide eyed. " How should I know?" Arthur lept forward and shoving Merlin before him started to run. But Merlin held back, his eyes on Excalibur still stuck within the stone. "Arthur, wait!"

Arthur turned back. " What are you doing?" Merlin turned to him, pointing at the sword. " The sword."

" Leave the sword! Merlin, are you blind?" Arthur indicated the collapsing walls around them. Merlin shook his head. " You go, I'll catch up…The Lady of The Lake told you to return it. Remember?"

Arthur's voice was amazed, "How did you..? Merlin listen, I'm sure she'll understand!"

Merlin wasn't listening he was heaving at the hilt of the sword, his face strained with the effort as he tried to pry the blade from its crystal scabbard. Arthur gave an irritated sigh and ran to him. " Here let me!" shoving Merlin aside Arthur put his shaking hands on the hilt of Excalibur.

"Arthur, it's impossible..you'll never do it. It's too…"

Merlin stopped in mid sentence as with a grating, singing sound the blade of Excalibur slid from the rock. Arthur held it above his head and for a moment Merlin felt he was witnessing a vision of the future. Then Arthur sheathed the sword and was Arthur again.

" Satisfied? Can we save our lives now? Thank you!"

With that Arthur grabbed Merlin by the shoulder and together they ran through the crumbling tunnel. Crystal shards fell like knives from the ceiling above and crunched beneath their booted feet as they ran. Merlin narrowly missed a spike of crystal as it hurtled to earth. He turned to Arthur as they ran. " I swear, I'll never go in a cave again."

"Too right you won't." said Arthur " Because if you do and I have to go through this again…"

A loud shattering sound cut off Arthur's threat. Instantly Merlin felt himself pushed to the ground a ways away just as a crystal shard the size of a grown man fell to the earth near where he was standing. He heard the ring of armor and Arthur's cry of pain.

"ARTHUR!" Merlin picked his way through chunks and shards of glittering crystal to where Arthur lay gripping his side. " Arthur! Are you all right?" Merlin pried Arthur's hands from his side and gasped at the large gash in his armor. But no blood was visible. Arthur cursed, " That was a near thing…I could have sworn that thing got me. "

"Let's not test our luck, come on!"

Together they rolled out of the opening just as the cave collapsed in on its self sending a shimmering cloud of dust skyward.

Instantly the mood of the situation was changed. Merlin lay on his back regaining his breath and his belief in religion. Beside him Arthur's relieved laughter rang in his ears as the dark velvet of the night sky danced like a jeweled cloak. At first Merlin thought it was an illusion caused by the brightness of the crystal cave, but soon he realized the sky was full of stars. "Thank you." He said to no one in particular. Then he turned to Arthur who was standing nearby grinning. Merlin had never met anyone like Arthur, he seemed to draw strength from danger. This aspect of his nature both fascinated and terrified Merlin to his very core.

" I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. I'm sure once the rush wears off and you realize how close we actually came to being skewered you'll be lying here next to me, so have a blast."

Arthur chuckled pulling Merlin to his feet. " Come on, let's get out of here before you get us in anymore trouble." Merlin rose, but as Arthur hauled him up he saw his face crinkle as though in pain.

"How's your side?" Merlin asked furrowing his brow. Arthur's face returned to normal and he made a dismissive gesture. " That's nothing…it isn't even bleeding. It certainly hurts enough though."

"Maybe you should let me see."

"Merlin…"

Merlin threw up his hands, " I know, I know, stop being a girl. Come on."

The walk back to the lake shore was more of a run and when they caught sight of the boat waiting for them Merlin felt a thrill of joy. Arthur was standing by the lake shore looking indecisive. Merlin went up beside him. " Going to miss the old place are you?" Arthur answered wistfully. " No..." his hand moved over the sleek scabbard of Excalibur at his waist. " It's just, now that it comes down to it…I wish I didn't have to give it up."

"Excalibur you mean? Arthur, you promised the Lady…you promised Freya you wouldn't keep it. A knight always keeps his word."

Arthur snorted, " Since when do you know so much? You were half dead when she told me all that."

" I could be dead and buried and I'd still be able to hear her voice. Give the sword back Arthur, it isn't time yet."

" You're right I suppose…it's just this feeling…like I shouldn't part with it yet. Like I still might need it."

Merlin looked at him seriously, "It's the power talking Arthur, with the sword comes power…power you're not ready to wield yet."

"Oh is that so?" Arthur shook his head, " But you're right Merlin…a knight doesn't go back on his word."

With that Arthur untied the sapphire sash that held the scabbard to his waist and took the sword in his hands. "Thank you Lady," he said to the open water, " You see, I've kept my promise." With that he threw the blade as far as he could out into the crystal waters. As they watched a hand rose from the water and caught the blade before disappearing once again below the water.

When he dared to look away again, Merlin's eyes fell on the sand at Arthur's feet and he startled . Blood stained the sand and as his eyes traveled up ward he saw the trickle of red flowing from the gash in Arthur's armor. Merlin stared in disbelief.

"Arthur…you're bleeding!"

Arthur looked down, then putting a hand to his side he stared at the bloodied gauntlet before him with a blank expression on his face. He turned to Merlin a look of confusion on his face, his lips moved to speak then with a clatter he collapsed.

Merlin wasn't always greatful for having Gaius as a guardian. Certainly not when he made him do chores or gather herbs from god forsaken places. Nor when he scolded him over simple things. But kneeling there on the lake shore, Arthur's armorless body lying before him his blood still on his hands., Merlin was thankful to have lived with a physician.

Tying the poultice of yarrow blossoms he'd gathered over Arthur's wound, Merlin sat back wiping his forehead. The poultice would stop the bleeding enough to get Arthur to Gaius, then the wound could be stitched. Yes, everything would be all right…if Arthur would just wake up.

Merlin soaked a rag in the cool lake water and layed it on Arthur's fore head. " Wake up, pratt…I'm not carrying you home."

Arthur stirred but did not wake up. Merlin layed a hand on his neck, his heart beat strongly against his fingers, a pendragon heart, too stubborn to die. Merlin gave Arthur a shake. " Come on, seriously Arthur, you need to wake up. I don't care what you're doing or …" he hesitated, " or WHO you're doing in those dreams of yours , come round!" Merlin frowned.

"All right…maybe you can't come round…you did lose a lot of blood." Merlin paused the reality dawning on him slowly, " A LOT of blood and of course the shock and all and….Arthur? Arthur please wake up! Please!"

The good thing about Merlin was he was fairly difficult to panic in an emergency, unfortunately he was VERY good at panicking himself. He knelt beside Arthur, shaking him and all but begging him to wake up. That would be, of course, the exact moment he DID wake up.

" I'm sorry, My Lady….thought my serving boy was here…maybe you've seen him? Little Mousy thing called Merlin."

Merlin breathed a sigh of relief, " Finally…you took long enough."

"Well, wounds like this aren't easy to recover from you know…what with all the BLOOD and the SHOCK."

SLAP!

" OW! Merlin! Is that any way to treat a wounded man?"

Merlin's voice was a hiss, though relief was already tempering anger. "YOU are an arse…come on, let's go."

Arthur chuckled, " Oh come on Merlin…Merlin?" Merlin was marching towards his horse. Arthur was laughing and making placating gestures at the same time. " I wasn't pretending long, I swear. Is it my fault I came to my senses just as you were losing yours? Merlin, it was a joke!"

"You SCARED me, Arthur. I mean REALLY scared me…I thought…I thought you finally got yourself killed."

"You got me killed you mean." Then Arthur's smile faded, " You're serious aren't you? You were that frightened?"

Merlin stopped and turned to him, " Of course I was frightened! You're my friend you idiot, weather you like it or not. I'm sorry but that's how it is!"

Arthur smiled and approached contritely. " I'm sorry, Merlin…it still hurts if it makes you feel any better."

Merlin huffed looking away, " Clot pole." Arthur shook his head, then winced touching his side then it seemed to dawn on him.

"Merlin, where's my armor?"

" In the saddle bags…it was getting in the way of your breathing."

Arthur looked down at himself in his ripped arming doublet and breeches and cast baleful eyes at Merlin. " You don't expect me to ride home looking like this?"

" I'll say a boar gored you…get on the horse."

Arthur's hand moved over the lump under his doublet then he lifted it and Merlin saw him touch the poultice beneath.

"You saved my life again didn't you?"

"Sorry…it's become a habit." Merlin gave a side ways smile. Arthur roughed his hair, " You'd make a great knight Merlin… and a physician…that's some impressive work."

"Being Gaius's ward has it's advantages. I can also swear in several ancient languages…care to hear?"

Arthur rolled his eyes, " Let's forget what I said about being a knight."

"I'll chalk it up to you being in shock."

"Fair enough…oh and Merlin."

"Yes my lord?"

Arthur smiled, " I told you you should have let me keep the sword."

Merlin gestured at him, then mounted his horse and together they rode off.

**Note: Excalibur's scabbard is also enchanted in many of the myths. As long as Arthur wears it, no matter the wounds he sustains he will lose no or little blood. It's like a magic tourniquet of sorts.**

**Last chapter next time.**


End file.
